Better Luck Next Time
by BlackRoseOnFire
Summary: She's been gone for a year. Now she's back to Degrassi and she has a secret. COMPLETE
1. Live Again

**Chapter One: Live Again**

_I know what you go through  
From me to you, I love you _

From the nipple to the bottle, never satisfied  
So the money got you doing shit that fuck up your pride  
You ain't a hoe, you just really trying to get by  
Every day looking up at the sky  
Sometimes, shit get so hard  
It really have you bothered  
First you sigh, then you cry  
Up a whole puddle of water  
Seem like this shit won't ever end  
Merry go rounds turn to whirlwinds  
Waves turn to a hurricane  
If you see joy, you got to see pain  
Shit in the world ain't gonna ever change  
Even when you die, it'll be the same  
Now you'll give them a circumstance  
Jobs ain't callin so you're forced to dance  
Hoping and praying for a second chance  
Just wanna put back on your pants  
Walk out the club and throw up your hands  
Tired of being disrespected by a man  
Say this shit ain't right for you  
Niggaz been yellin all night for you  
Got ya in the mind what's best for you  
Walk up to the club owner, tell 'em your through  
_  
She's stuck off in this little room  
With nothing left to hold onto  
Her life is in a little box  
She's wondering will it ever stop?  
The life of a stripper _

I'm so sick and I'm so tired  
Of these clubs, I keep crying  
Every night, I wipe my eyes  
Cause these years pass me by  
I give up, I'm all in  
My whole life is full of sin  
This road is a dead end  
I wanna live again

From the point when a child is torn from a mother's umbilical cord  
No one really enforces that life is gonna be hard  
Which is kinda left up to the teachers  
But the teachers leave it up to the preachers  
_The preachers ain't fillin' the bleachers  
It's the rappers  
Sad, ain't it_

_It was this girl next door, pretty fine little woman  
Going to college, taking off her clothes for money  
She gotta pay the rent, she got a little girl  
Her baby daddy ain't shit,  
__See what she dealin with?  
But she gotta hold on (hold on)  
Wanna leave the club alone (it feels wrong)  
She gotta pay the bills but in the meantime  
She like "fuck how she feel" living is real  
So she back in the club again  
Taking off her clothes again  
Going to school, going to work, getting tiring  
Lack of sleep but baby gotta eat  
And needs shoes on her feet  
She got a test next week so she stressin'  
Asking god to give her a blessing, send her in the right direction  
Her parents died when she was eight years old  
And after that, she felt like she was all alone  
But she got her grandparents and they raised her well  
Keep going to school, and take care of yourself  
It's getting hard, going to school and work in the club  
And at the same time looking for love  
She can't keep strippin for an occupation  
In a minute, she'll be graduating  
Make her wanna throw up her hands  
Cause she only wanna live again_

_She's stuck off in this little room  
With nothing left to hold onto  
Her life is in a little box  
She's wondering will it ever stop?  
The life of a stripper_

_I'm so sick and I'm so tired  
Of these clubs, I keep crying  
Every night, I wipe my eyes  
Cause these years pass me by  
I give up, I'm all in  
My whole life is full of sin  
This road is a dead end  
I wanna live again_

I danced to the music like I always did, slowly pulling my clothes off. I always took my sweet time, but apparently, the guys liked that about me. I had my back to this particular guy for the entire time so far, but he wasn't complaining. When I finally did turn around, I almost crapped myself.

"Craig?" I yelled in disbelief. I grabbed my clothes and ran from the room. I went to my dressing room and quickly got dressed in my plain khaki pants and a brown t-shirt.

"Mark, I'm going home!" I yelled to my boss behind the bar. I brought so much money to the club that I could come and go as I pleased. I also had a deal with the owner, my boss, Mark.

"See ya Sky!" he yelled back, using my stage name. It was the only name I had ever given him. I ran out to my black Honda Civic (it was all I could afford) and jumped in, throwing my bag on the seat next to me. It was there that I recalled the first time I came into this place, and the first time I met Mark. I had been able to lie low since then, but this was my first mistake. I never thought I'd see someone that I knew from DCS in that club.

**-Flashback-**

"_Hey, I'm looking for a job," I said as I approached the first guy I saw. He had black hair that was spiked up and deep blue eyes. "Is there someone I could talk to?"_

"_Actually, that would be me. I'm Mark, the owner," the guy said, extending his hand for me to shake. He looked pretty young, probably around twenty-five. "If you want to be a stripper, you have to audition you know," he told me._

"_I know." That's all I could think of to say. Mark looked me up and down a few times. _

"_Well, come on up to my apartment and you can get started." I followed him into a back room with stairs that led up to his apartment above the club. "Just pick a song," he said, waving a hand at his CD collection. I picked a hip-hop CD and put it into the stereo, switching it to a song with a good beat. He sat on hisbed while I did the dance I had practiced for a year, pulling off my clothes as I went. When I was finally finished, I received a round of applause from Mark._

"_Does that mean I get the job?" I asked, pulling my shirt on._

"_You're really good, don't get me wrong, but just how old are you?" he asked. I frowned; I was hoping not to be asked that question._

"_Well…" I trailed off. "I'm seventeen. But I'll be eighteen soon!" I said, practically begging him. _

"_Why don't you find a waitressing job and come back in a couple of years," he suggested. _

"_I really need this job. I need the money, and I know this is the best way to make what I need. Please help me," I said. Now I really was begging._

"_I don't know. Letting you work here would be putting my business on the line. If anyone found out, they'd probably tell the cops, and I'd get my club taken away. I can't jeopardize all of that just for you," Mark explained. I fought back my tears._

"_I know I can make you a lot of money. And no one will find out, I promise," I said. _

"_To keep this secret for you, and to put myself in danger of losing my business, what are you going to give me in return?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips. He leaned back on his elbows and I instantly knew what he wanted. And I would do whatever I could to get this job. I just had to._

"_I'll do anything," I said, trying my best to look sexy. I walked over to the bed, unzipping Mark's pants, and pulling them off. I went down on him; something I was pretty good at by then. When I was finished, he had a pretty satisfied look on his face. But he didn't say anything. He gave me a look, and I knew he wanted more. So I did the only thing I could. I climbed on top of him and had sex with him. When we were finished, Mark climbed off the bed and put his pants back on._

"_You got the job," he said. He just walked away and left me there, lying in his bed. I felt so dirty and started to cry. A few minutes later, I sucked it up and forced myself to stop. I had to do this. I needed the money. I got dressed and ran down the stairs as fast as I could, passing Mark on my way out. "Get some rest, you start tomorrow night," he told me. I didn't acknowledge what he had said; I just had to get out of there._

**-End of Flashback-**

Pulling myself out of my little daydream (well, nightmare is a more fitting word) I turned they key in the ignition and made my way home. I found my mom waiting up for me at the kitchen table. She always waited up.

"How was work?" she asked. Of course she didn't know what I really did. She thought that I worked at some café inside a bookstore. My excuse for not telling her the name of the place was that I didn't want her to go there and embarrass me. She bought the story, and didn't ask me details. Little did she know that I worked at a strip club named Tric.

"Pretty good. I only made like a hundred in tips. Kinda slow night," I lied. Well, I wasn't lying about my tip amount. But I usually made around three hundred dollars in tips on a good night. I would have made more, but I only stayed at the club for about four hours. It was all I could afford to be away. "Where's Dad?" I asked her, trying to change the subject.

"He's already asleep. He tried to stay up to wish you well on your first day of school tomorrow, but he started falling asleep on the couch. He'll see you in the morning anyway."

"That was sweet of him. Well, where is she?" I asked my mom who knew very well who I was talking about.

"Sleeping. She had a rough night, but I'm not sure why. Very upset," she told me.

"Well, I better get to bed." I kissed my mom goodnight and went down to my room, careful not to wake her. I stripped down to my tank top and underwear, climbing into bed. I looked at the clock. It was 11:23. With any hope, I'd be able to sleep through the night until I had to get up at 6 am. It probably wouldn't happen though.

**A/N: The song at the beginning is "Live Again" by the Ying Yang Twins and they own it. It's my inspiration for the whole fan fic. I got the club name 'Tric' from One Tree Hill, so I guess they own that. You should have been able to figure out who the main character is…I left like a few tiny hints. Read and review; I hope you like it! **


	2. Secrets

**Chapter Two: Secrets **

_I'm running out the door  
__I feel so tied down  
__I'm walking on quicksand  
__I want solid ground  
__I don't feel alive  
__I must be halfway dead  
__Sooner or later you'd find out  
__What's really in my head_

My bedroom light flipped on and I squinted my eyes. I looked at the clock; 3 am. Then I realized that my mom was the one who turned the light on. And I heard crying. I jumped up and ran over to the crib.

"Emma, I shouldn't have had to wake you up," my mom said, glaring at me. She was just as tired as I was.

"I'm sorry Mom; it's just that...I had help back in California..." I trailed off. I didn't really want to tell her. Back in Los Angeles, there was someone who woke up with the baby in the middle of the night. I worked so many hours (I was actually a waitress there) that I was exhausted at night, and never heard her crying. But I was lucky enough to have Oliver there to help me.

"You know that I will help you as much as I can, and so will your dad. But now that you're a mother, you need to be taking on more responsibility. You need to get up with her in the middle of the night to feed her, change her diaper, or maybe just rock her back to sleep. It's your job now. And I don't really like the fact that someone else was doing it for you," she lectured.

"I know Mom, I'm sorry. I'll take it from here," I told her. She went back upstairs to her bedroom and I leaned over my daughter's crib, picking her up. I cradled her in my arms and held her close. "Shh...it's okay baby. Mommy's here now." A few minutes later, she quieted down and let me put her back in the crib.

I guess I should tell my story now. What happened. Near the end of July, after grade ten, I got pregnant. I didn't want my friends to disown me, and I didn't want my teachers to know. So Mom and Dad let me go to California to live with Mom's sister. I went to a school to prepare me for childbirth and motherhood, and missed my entire grade eleven at Degrassi. Manny and the rest of my friends thought I was going to a private school.

Now I'm back for grade twelve. I want to be able to graduate and I want to raise my daughter at home. But no one can know my secret. We thought of telling everyone that my parents adopted a baby, but they couldn't lie to their friends and family about something that big. So we all agreed to tell people that she was my cousin from California, and I was being paid to take care of her for the year while my aunt was working overseas.

That gives me a year to figure out how to tell everyone about her. Her name is Danica Jade Nelson. Danica means morning star and Oliver picked Jade as her middle name. Oliver James was my best friend in California. He was with me throughout my whole pregnancy, and he was there the night Danica was born. My parents flew in and were there for her birth too, but they couldn't stay for more than a few days because they had work.

On my first day at Luna Park, a restaurant in L.A., I met Oliver. He has dirty blonde hair that is spiked into a short mohawk, but it's not shaved on the sides. He has blue eyes and is slightly taller than I am. Oliver trained me as a waitress, and we instantly clicked. We hung out all the time, and he was the first to find out that I was pregnant.

The manager at Luna Park let me waitress until I started showing. After that, I was only allowed to work at the hostess station, taking phone messages, booking reservations, and rolling silverware. I didn't mind it though. I loved the job. The only downside was that I didn't make enough money to fully support my daughter. But I do now.

Anyway, Danica was born on April 22. Since I was still in school, I stayed until the end of July. I knew I had to go back home. I missed my parents, brother, and all my friends. But I didn't want to leave Oliver behind. He still calls me every day, but he doesn't know what I do now. I don't want him to be disappointed in me.

I started working at Tric in the beginning of August. I managed to work for a month without anyone seeing me. But then Craig had to show up. Why was he even there? Shouldn't he be at University by now? I hope he doesn't tell anyone.

I lay down in my bed and positioned myself so I could watch Dani sleep. She's so beautiful. She has blonde hair and the bluest eyes I've ever seen. Her eyes remind me of Oliver, even though he's not her father. I wish he was. I made a huge mistake and I can't take it back. But being a mother is one of the most rewarding things in the world, and I love Danica more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life.

* * *

My alarm went off at six o'clock in the morning. I rubbed my eyes and groaned. Right after I fell asleep, around three thirty, Dani had woken up again. I fed her and got her to sleep by four. I got about five and a half hours of sleep. Not good for my first day of school. But then again, I had gotten pretty used to it. 

I gathered all my school stuff, preparing to take a shower, but Danica chose the exact moment that my foot hit the stair to wake up. I walked back to her crib, picked her up, and placed her on her changing table. I gave her a fresh diaper and fed her. When I got back from California, my mom had fixed my room up with a mini fridge for her bottles and a microwave to heat them up in. I decided not to breast feed her because I knew I couldn't be around all the time to feed her naturally. I cleaned Dani's face off with a baby wipe, and then selected an outfit for her out of my top dresser drawer. Gently placing her back on the changing table, I put her in her new clothes.

After getting my bag and clothes, I brought my daughter upstairs so I could get ready for school. Placing her in the playpen in the living room, I quickly showered and got dressed. My mom was in the kitchen, holding the baby, when I went in for breakfast. I had fifteen minutes before school started. Scarfing down my Pop Tarts in a record two minutes, I took Danica from my mom to say goodbye to her. And then it happened. She threw up all over me.

"Dani!" I yelled, which caused her to burst into tears.

"Emma, she's only a baby!" my mother scolded me.

"I know, I'm sorry baby," I told her. "Mommy has to get to school!" I said, still a little angry.

"Let me guess, you forgot to burp her." Damnit! I knew I forgot something this morning. "Here, I'll take her and you just go change for school."

"No Mom, you were right; I have to do this for myself." I brought Danica back downstairs, changed her clothes, and then changed mine. The outfit I picked wasn't nearly as cute as my first one. And now I smelled like baby puke and formula. Welcome to the world of motherhood. I ran upstairs, handed Dani to my mother, and kissed her on the forehead. "Bye Mom!" I yelled as I ran out the door. Jumping in my car, I sped to Degrassi, and then ran into my homeroom with Mr. Armstrong. Fifteen minutes late.

"Emma, you're late. That's not a very good way to start the year," Mr. Armstrong said, frowning. The entire class was staring at me.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," I stammered. I didn't like all this attention focused on me. Especially since I was trying to keep a low profile.

"It better not. And if it does; you'll find yourself in detention." I quickly took the first seat I could find, which happened to be between Toby and Liberty.

"Good one Emma. Way to start your first day back," Liberty said sarcastically. I shot her a look and she quickly shut up.

"Emma, it's great to have you back. We all missed you," Toby said. I smiled at him and was about to say something when Mr. Armstrong appeared over us, glaring.

"Can I finish Mr. Issacs?" he said to Toby.

"Sorry," Toby answered, blushing. We focused our attention on Mr. Armstrong. Well, at least I pretended to be listening. I was really thinking about Oliver and how part of me wished I was back in L.A., going to school with him.

The bell rang a few minutes later, and I rushed off to use the bathroom. Toby followed me, but I just quickened my pace. I only had a few minutes until my first class. I checked to make sure all the stalls were empty, and then I pulled out my cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Mom, how is she?" I asked. I was always worried about my baby. She was sick when she was born and I can't bear to leave her for very long, even if she is with my mother.

"Emma, she's fine. Shouldn't you be in class?" she asked.

"It starts in a few minutes. I just wanted to check up on her," I said. Just then the bathroom door burst open and some girl I'd never seen before walked in. She was almost my height, and had brown hair that fell just past her shoulder blades. Her eyes were a deep brown. "I gotta go; bye!" I hung up the phone and was about to leave when I noticed the girl was crying. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"What do you care? You don't even know me," she replied.

"Sorry to bother you. I just thought that maybe I could help. Are you new here?"

"Yeah, my family just moved here from L.A. My name's Brooklyn," she said, holding her hand out. I shook it and responded.

"I'm Emma. Want to tell me why you were crying?" I asked.

"The whole reason I moved here was to get away from people who always judged me. My parents thought that if we left the country that we could get away from the type of people who were hurting me. But apparently they were wrong," she explained.

"For some reason, you seem really familiar to me. I went to school in L.A. for a year, maybe I know you from there," I told her.

"I doubt it. To tell you the truth, the school I went to was for teenage parents. That's why everyone's being really mean. They found out that I have a son," she confessed.

"Then I definitely do know you from school," I told her. "I went there too. My daughter was born on April 22nd."

"Wow. I guess it's a small world then," Brooklyn said, wiping her tears from her cheeks.

"Hey, do you wanna come over my house after school? It'd be nice to be able to talk with someone who knows my secret," I said.

"Yeah that'd be cool. But I'd have to pick my son up from daycare first. You mean to tell me that none of your friends know about your daughter?" she asked.

"Nope. That's why I went to L.A. for a year. My parents are the only ones who know." I could tell she was about to say something, but the bell rang. "Great, I'm late for class again," I groaned. I quickly told Brooklyn where to meet me after school before running off to my first class.

* * *

When the final bell rang, I rushed out to my car and found Brooklyn already waiting for me. Just asI was about to get in, Manny showed up. 

"Hey Emma, wanna go to The Dot or something?" she asked.

"Sorry, I can't. I have to watch Jack. Maybe some other time okay?"

"I could help you watch him. I have nothing to do," she complained.

"Well, Brooklyn already offered to help, and you know how my mom is. I can't have too many people over when she's not home," I lied.

"Yeah, I know. I have something really important to talk to you about. Call me tonight?" she asked.

"I will, I promise. Oh by the way: Manny, this is Brooklyn, Brooke this is Manny," I introduced them.

"I've seen you around school; you must be new," Manny said.

"Yeah," Brooklyn answered her.

"I guess I'll let you two get going. Don't forget to call me!" she called as I backed the car out of the space. As we drove away from Degrassi, Brooklyn told me how to get to the daycare where her son was.

"So, how do you know Manny?" she asked me suddenly.

"She's been my best friend for a long time now," I told her. "Don't tell her I told you this; but she got pregnant in grade nine and had an abortion."

"Then of all people, why haven't you told her about your baby? She's your best friend, and she probably knows at least some of what you're going through. Why wouldn't you tell her?" Brooke asked. I bit my lip, not wanting to answer her question.

_We had our eyes open  
__We had the best of plans  
__But people change  
__Because people can  
__One or the other gets restless  
__And hears the wild wind call  
__One picks up the pieces  
__While the glass house falls_

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters. I do own Danica Jade Nelson, Oliver James, Brooklyn, and her son. Anyone surprised that Emma's the main character? Why do you think Emma doesn't want to tell Manny? Come on, I want guesses! The lyrics are from the song "Secrets In Your Heart" by Murray McLauchlin and he owns them…they have to do w/ Emma's secret and a certain person she doesn't want to know…more guesses as to who that person is (not Manny). And please review to all of my chapters individually; just so I know that you guys are reading! **


	3. Ever Changing

**Chapter Three: Ever Changing **

_And now, amidst the waves and the cloudless skies  
__That'd blanket the year before  
__I watch my life wash ashore_

"We're here," I said, changing the subject. Hopefully Brooklyn would forget that she even asked the question. I waited in the car while Brooke went inside to get her son. I expected her to come out with a little baby, but instead, she emerged holding her son by the hand while he stumbled alongside her. "How old is he?" I asked her as she put his car seat into the back.

"He's one and a half years old. He'll be two in February," she told me.

"Oh, I didn't realize he was that old," I commented.

"Yep. Emma, meet Maddox," she said as she buckled him into the car seat. "Mad, this is mommy's friend Emma," she told him. "Can you say hi?"

"Hi!" he squealed, laughter filling the little car.

"Hi Maddox," I said to him. He hid his face behind his hands. "He's so cute," I told her.

"Thanks." Brooke got back in the car and we made our way back to my house. When we finally got there, Brooklyn got Maddox out of his car seat and we went inside.

"Mom! I'm home!" I called. She appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. "Mom, this is Brooklyn and her son Maddox. She went to my school in L.A. and she's just moved here," I explained.

"It's nice to meet you Brooklyn," my mom said, shaking her hand.

"It's nice to meet you too Mrs. Nelson."

"You can call me Spike," she said.

"Where's Dani?" I asked. I was anxious to see her. It was the first time I'd been away for her for more than two hours. Back at school in L.A., I was able to bring her with me.

"I just put her down for a nap."

"Well, we'll be down in my room," I told my mom.

"Emma, don't wake her up, you'll regret it later."

"Okay mom!" I said, not really paying attention. I just wanted to see my daughter.

"Spike?" Brooklyn questioned as we went downstairs.

"Yeah, it's an old nickname from high school. My dad's is Snake." We both giggled as we entered my room, and instantly Danica woke up. She started to cry so I picked her up and brought her over to my bed. Brooklyn set Maddox down to explore the room and sat down next to me. "This is my daughter Danica," I told her.

"She's beautiful. Can I hold her?" Brooke asked. I nodded my head and handed her over. I noticed that Maddox was opening up my refrigerator so I walked over to him. He had one of Danica's bottles in his hand.

"Can I have that?" I asked him. He handed it to me and walked back over to his mom. I popped the bottle in the microwave to heat it up.

"So, where's her dad?" Brooke asked suddenly. I wasn't really prepared for that question.

"Well, he lives here but…" I trailed off. I wasn't ready to tell anyone. My parents didn't even know.

"Let me guess; he doesn't know about her does he?" she asked.

"Nope," I replied. "My parents don't even know who her father is," I explained. "I'm not ready for anyone to know. And it's not like I wish he was her dad either. I made a stupid mistake."

"Yeah, I know what you mean I've made a mistake that I can't really take back," Brooklyn told me.

"What do you mean?" Danica's bottle was done heating so I got it out of the microwave. Brooke handed my daughter to me and put Maddox up on her lap before she explained.

"Well, Mad's father was this stupid guy who I cheated on my boyfriend with. The day that I went to end it with this guy, he raped me," she said, tears filling her eyes. "I never told anyone this before. My boyfriend thinks he's the father. I thought I could get away from him too by moving here, but he convinced his parents to let him move too. They have a lot of money, so they're paying for his apartment," she explained, starting to cry.

"Why don't you just tell him?" I asked.

"I can't. He'll hate me. I've let him believe it for so long that he'd probably go crazy."

"But what are you going to do if the truth comes out?" I asked her.

"I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead yet. I'm hoping we'll be married before that happens," Brooklyn said.

"I'm not so sure that's the right thing to do…" I didn't want to lecture her on her mistakes, but I felt sorry for this boyfriend of hers; whoever he is.

"Look, you don't know what it's like okay? At least you haven't had to lie to anyone about Danica's father. You're just choosing not to tell. There's a big difference. I better get going." She picked Maddox up and headed for the stairs.

"At least let me finish feeding Danica and bring you home. You can't possibly walk home carrying him and his car seat," I pointed out.

"Fine. We'll just wait in the car," Brooklyn replied, going up the stairs and closing the door behind her. I burped Dani halfway through her bottle like I was supposed to and then finished feeding her.

"Mom, I'm gonna bring Brooklyn home; we'll be right back!" I called before leaving the house. I drove Brooke home in silence. When we got there; it hit me: she's Craig's new neighbor. This is really bad. Brooke got out of the car and took Maddox out, then took his car seat out and closed the door without saying a word. "Hey maybe I'll see you in school tomorrow," I said as she walked up to her house.

"Yeah, maybe," she said, turning around. I waved as I drove away. What am I going to do about Craig being her neighbor? He knows now about my job. What if they end up being friends or something? I don't want her finding out. That would be another person to be disappointed in me.

By the time I got home, Danica had fallen asleep in the car and it was already four o'clock. Dinner was in two hours and I needed to try and get my homework done before then. I knew that if I waited until after dinner, Dani would have to be fed and changed again, and I wouldn't get it done. I don't work during the school week because I know I won't have time for school. And school is the most important thing to me right now. I have to get an education so I can have a career to support myself and my daughter.

I brought Dani down and put her in her crib. Then I grabbed my books and spread everything out on my bed. I had to write a two page essay on my summer vacation for Ms. Kwan's class. That would have to be completely made up since I didn't want anyone to know about my daughter. After that, I have to do three pages worth of problems for Mr. Armstrong, and read the first two chapters of my science book. Luckily for me, I didn't have any homework in Media Immersions, Music, or Theatre. I could have gotten some of the other homework done during my study period, but I accidentally fell asleep.

Just when I was about to start working on my essay, I saw something move near my window. I went to go check it out and nearly died. There was someone out there. It was Jay.

_There's nothing simple when it comes to you and I  
__There's always something in this ever-changing life  
__And it probably always will  
__Now that time is getting harder to come by  
__The same arguments are always on our minds  
__We've killed this slowly fading light_

**A/N: I just made up that Emma has Music, Theatre, and a study period. I wasn't sure what other classes they have at Degrassi. The song is "Everchanging" by Rise Against and they own it. Let me know what you think and don't worry, there are twists in the story, like who the father is, and other things. Hope it's not boring right now. I'm glad that you guys are actually guessing things when I ask you to lol. And of course I can't tell you if you're right or not because that would ruin the story but you'll find out. Okay, I'm also updating each chapter after every ten reviews I get, so the quicker people review, the quicker I'll update! **


	4. The Best Part Of Believe Is The Lie

**Chapter Four: The Best Part Of Believe Is The Lie **

_Are we growing up or just going down?  
__It's just a matter of time until we're all found out  
__Take our tears and put them on ice  
__'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light_

I opened my window and glared at him.

"What do you want Jay?" I sighed.

"Can I come in?" he asked. He couldn't see Danica's crib from where he was.

"No, you can't."

"Will you come out here then?"

"Why?" I asked. I was getting annoyed.

"Emma, I want to talk to you. Why won't you just talk to me?" he asked. He raised his voice so much that Danica started to cry. Great.

"I gotta go," I said, trying to close the window. But he put his arm in the way.

"Is that a baby crying?" he asked. "Whose baby is that?"

"If you must know, it's my cousin okay?" I said, trying to force the window shut.

"Oh. Well, I guess you better go then," he let the window swing shut and stood up. I walked over to Dani and picked her up. I put her up on her changing table to change her diaper when I heard feet hit the floor. And Jay walked over to me.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked a little too loudly. Danica started to cry again.

"I only wanna talk. That's all," Jay answered. He's too persistent. I didn't say a word, just continued to change Dani's diaper. Jay watched me the entire time. "So why is your cousin's crib down here in your room?" he asked.

"My aunt had to go work overseas for a year and she asked me to watch her if she paid me," I lied.

"It must suck having to raise someone else's kid," he commented.

"It's not so bad." This lying thing was pretty easy.

_'Cause I'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it_

"Emma, I just want to talk. Did you get my letter while you were gone?" he asked.

"No, I didn't," I lied. Of course I got his letter. It made me cry. It was currently folded up under my pillow. I still didn't know what to do about it.

"Oh." His face fell. I could tell he was upset. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," he said.

"Jay, you gave me an STD. I don't think sorry's gonna fix that," I told him. I picked Danica up and rocked her until she started to fall asleep.

"I really care about you Emma. I always have. The only thing I can do is apologize and hope you'll forgive me."

"Look, I cared about you too. But everything changed. How would I even know you cared for me when you were doing the same thing with any girl at the ravine, especially Amy?" I said, raising my voice. Dani's eyes flew open and she was about to cry.

"Can I hold her?" Jay asked.

"I guess." I reluctantly handed her over and she didn't cry.

"I shouldn't have messed around with any of the other girls. And I'm sorry for that. I wanted to be with only you, and I still do." I took my daughter from his arms and placed her back in her crib.

"It's too late for that Jay. Way too late."

_We're the lifers here till the bitter end  
__Condemned from the start  
__Ashamed of the way  
__The songs and the words own the beating of our hearts_

"Can we at least be friends?" he asked.

"I don't know. I really don't," I said. "I'm not sure I can do that."

"Please just give me a second chance Em," he begged.

"I'll have to really thing about it," I told him.

"I can always help with the baby if you need it," he suggested. "That could my first attempt to make it up to you."

"Maybe."

_'Cause I'll keep singing this lie  
__I'll keep singing this lie _

"Well I guess I better go and let you get back to your homework," he said, eyeing my books on my bed.

"Yeah that's a good idea." I followed him to the window just to make sure he actually left. He climbed out and turned around, crouching down.

"Your cousin sure does look a lot like you," he said, letting the door swing shut and walking away.

_The best part of "Believe" is the "Lie"  
__I hope you sing along and you steal a line  
__I need to keep you like this in my mind  
__So give in or just give up_

* * *

At dinner, all I could do was think about what Jay said. Does he know? He's got to know. It's not that hard to figure out. I just didn't think it would be this soon when someone did. I pushed my food around with my fork; unable to eat. 

"Emma, is everything alright?" my dad asked me after about ten minutes.

"Yeah Dad, I'm fine," I lied. I forced myself to put on a fake smile and eat about half of my food. "Can I be excused?" I asked when I had eaten all I could.

"Sure honey. Just put your dish in the sink," Mom said. I put my plate away and went down to my room. I still couldn't get Jay off my mind. What's wrong with me? I checked on Danica and she was still sleeping. I flopped down on my bed and pulled the letter out from under my pillow. I read it for probably the hundredth time.

_Dear Emma,_

_First off, let me say that I'm sorry about what happened. I never meant for any of it to happen at all. If I could take it all back, I would. But I can't, so I have to hope that you'll forgive me. Please forgive me? I really care about you Emma. This might sound scary to you (it sure scares me) but I think I'm falling in love with you. I don't know if you're ever coming back, but I hope you will. I can't bear to think about living without you. Even if the only way I can see you is to pass by your house and hope you're outside, then so be it. I'm taking a year off before University next year, so I hope that maybe you'll be back then. Please, please come back Emma. I need you. I really do._

_Love,  
__Jay _

I quickly folded the letter back up. He doesn't love me. Does he? When I got mixed up in all of that stuff down at the ravine, I found myself having feelings for Jay. Even after I found out he gave me an STD. But then I found out I was pregnant and I knew I had to get away. Being away from Jay for so long has made my feelings die down a little. But I know that I love Oliver. I just never told him. And I can't love two people at the same time, can I? No, I can't.

I don't even know if I can bring myself to just be friends with Jay. It seems like it would be too hard. I know that I hurt worse with each passing day that I don't tell Oliver my true feelings. I don't want to hurt anymore.

I decided to call Manny because I promised that I would, and I also knew she could hold a grudge. After two rings, she picked up.

"Hey Manny, it's me," I said into the phone.

"Oh Emma I'm so glad you called! There's something that I have to tell you!" she squealed. Good old Manny. Some things never change.

"What is it?" I asked. It better be good. Sometimes she gets so worked up over the smallest things.

"Craig and I are getting married!"

_Are we growing up or just going down?  
__It's just a matter of time until we're all found out  
__Take our tears and put them on ice  
__'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light_

**A/N: The lyrics are from the song "Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year" by Fall Out Boy…they own it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This is the most reviews I've gotten on any story. I better write the chapters faster then! **


	5. Great Awakening

**Chapter Five: Great Awakening **

_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_

"You're what?" I yelled. Then I quickly shut my mouth, afraid of waking Danica up. "You're not joking, are you?"

"Of course I'm not joking! Emma, we're engaged. We're going to wait until I graduate of course. If we can even wait that long, we won't do it until after we're both done at University.

"What made you decide all of this?" I asked.

"Well, Craig and I were together the whole year that you were gone. We decided to take our relationship to the next level," she told me. I was in shock.

"What about Ashley?" I asked.

"Don't you remember? She broke up with him before you even left. The summer after grade ten. It was like three weeks before you decided to leave."

"Yeah, I remember. But I thought Craig hated you? I mean, after you had the abortion. He said he never wanted to talk to you again because you killed his baby," I said, tears forming behind my eyes. I hated what Manny had done, but I can't hate her for what she chose to do.

"He realized that if I had the baby it would have ruined my life. Both of our lives, actually," she said confidently.

"I don't think it would have ruined your life," I said. The tears were spilling onto my cheeks. I was so afraid when I found out I was pregnant, but I don't blame my child for it. "Listen, I gotta go."

"Okay, I'll see you in school tomorrow," Manny said.

"Yeah, see ya." I hung up the phone and went over to Dani's crib. I watched her sleeping. She looked so beautiful. I stroked her cheek and continued to cry. Now that she's here, I can't imagine life without her.

Once again, I flopped down onto my bed and put my head on my pillow. I looked at the clock; it was only seven. I still had a few hours to do my homework. But I'll wait until I stop crying at least. I closed my eyes, willing the tears to go away.

_Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars  
Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are_

* * *

I woke up when I heard Danica crying. I fell asleep? I didn't mean to. And I didn't even get any of my homework done. I quickly looked at the clock. 2:04 am. Great. Well, at least Dani slept for nearly eight hours. She's never done that before.

I went over to her crib and picked her up. She needed her diaper changed. And she was probably hungry. I decided to feed her first. She sucked her bottle down quickly but kept on crying. I changed her diaper, and that made her stop. It took me a total of an hour to do all of that and get her back to sleep. This is not good. I'm still tired; but I have to get my homework done. And I only have four hours until I'm supposed to be at school in homeroom.

I couldn't concentrate on my math homework. For some reason, it didn't make sense to me, even though it's one of my best subjects. I guess I just had a lot on my mind. So I tried to do my English essay. I was too tired to be able to make anything up, and I didn't want Kwan to find out about the baby, so I didn't get that done either. Luckily, I was able to read my science book. It is my favorite subject after all.

After my failed attempts at doing math and reading homework, and finally finishing the first two chapters of the science book, it was already five o'clock in the morning. I didn't have to be up for another hour, but I felt rested enough. So I went upstairs and took a long shower. I got dressed and fixed my hair, then went down to my room to get Dani. She was lying in her crib, looking around and laughing.

"Hey there little one," I said, picking her up and holding her close to me. I changed her diaper, got her dressed, and grabbed a bottle out of the fridge to take upstairs with me. When I got into the kitchen, I saw that it was six o'clock. One hour until school. At least things were going smoothly.

"You're up early," my mom greeted me as I sat down and began to feed Danica.

"Yeah, I figured I'd get an early start," I said. "Mom, when did I start sleeping all night for you?" I asked. She laughed before she answered me.

"Probably when you were about six months old, why?" she asked.

"Good, then I only have one month left until she does," I said. "I'm so tired," I groaned. I may not have felt tired when I decided to stay up, but after my shower and getting Danica ready, I was already exhausted.

"It's all a part of being a mother," Mom said, smiling. I burped my daughter and finished feeding her. Then my mom took her from me and set a plate of pancakes down in front of me.

"Thanks," I said, starting to eat. I was starving since I hadn't really eaten much dinner last night.

"Emma, we have to talk about something," she said, suddenly getting serious.

"What is it?" I asked. It didn't look good, whatever it was.

"I can't watch the baby during the day anymore," she said quietly.

"WHAT?" I yelled a little too loudly. Danica started to cry and I took her from my mother. "What do you mean you can't watch her?"

"I was talking to my boss yesterday, and she needs me to work during the day. One of my co-workers quit and I have to take her shift," she explained.

"Well then what am I supposed to do?" I asked her.

"Danica will have to go to daycare. We don't have to worry about Jack because he's in preschool now, and he can stay there all day."

"Mom! She can't go to daycare. I don't want to leave her with strangers!" I cried. "And I don't have the money to pay for it anyway!"

"Maybe you should think about getting her father involved in her life then. Maybe his parents could watch her; or he can pay child support," she suggested.

"I can't do that," I said, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"You'll have to figure this out on your own then. I'm sorry Emma, there's nothing I can do about it. I can't lose my job. You'll have to stay home from school today because I know you can't find a daycare in a half hour."

"I can't stay home on the second day!" I yelled.

"Well then maybe you know of someone who can watch her. Otherwise, you'll have to. Emma, you knew that having a baby and going to school was going to be hard. I warned you about all of that." Instead of saying anything, I jumped up from the table and went down to my room.

"Hey," I said into the phone when he picked up.

"What is it Emma?" he asked me.

"You want to prove yourself? Can you watch the baby today?" I asked him.

"Yeah of course I can. When do you want me to come over?"

"Now would be good," I said, hanging up the phone. What am I going to do? I sat on my bed and held Danica, softly bouncing her up and down. I wrote down instructions for taking care of her. Then he came in through the window. "Jay, you could have come to the front door."

"Sorry, I'm just used to this," he said.

"Whatever. Look, have you had any experience with babies?" I asked him.

"Well…not really…but I know I can do it," he said confidently.

"Okay, her bottles are in the fridge. Everything is written down right there. You can go upstairs if you want; you don't have to stay down here all day. Are you sure you can do this?" I asked him.

"Positive. I won't let you down Emma," he told me. I kissed Danica on her forehead and left for school. I knew I would worry about her all day. I really hope Jay knows what he's doing. Things have to work out; they just have to.

_As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost  
Wake me up when September ends_

**A/N: The lyrics are from the song "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day. They own it. Terribly boring chapter, I know…I just needed to add this in. Next one will be better. Review! **


	6. Take Tomorrow One Day At A Time

**Chapter Six: Take Tomorrow One Day At A Time **

_You got lost, for a while.  
__You've been trying to find a smile.  
__You got stood up, then you fell down,  
__And when you needed, there was no one around.  
__You loved the previews and hate the movie.  
__You scream at the screen, "Something move me!"  
__Before you start to fade away._

"Emma, this isn't like you," Ms. Kwan said. Reading had just ended, but she noticed that I hadn't handed my homework in.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't have time to do it," I told her.

"Well, I don't know what went on at that other school of yours in California, but whatever it was; you need to get back on track here. At Degrassi Community School, you are expected to do your homework," she lectured.

"I know. Do you want me to take a zero on the assignment?" I asked. I just wanted to get out of there.

"You can hand it in tomorrow. But this is the only time I'm going to let this slide. I'll write you a pass; where are you going next?" she asked.

"I have math." I still had to face Mr. Armstrong. I didn't do his homework either. Ms Kwan wrote me the pass and I gladly took it, rushing off to my next class.

Throughout math, I couldn't concentrate at all. Luckily, the teacher didn't call on me. I was busy worrying about Dani and if she was okay. Could Jay really handle a baby on his own?

At the end of math, everyone handed in their homework as they went by Mr. Armstrong's desk. I put my stuff in my bag as slowly as possible, waiting for everyone to leave. Then I started to lie again. I was getting good at it.

"Mr. Armstrong, I accidentally left my homework at home on my bed," I told him. "Can I give it to you tomorrow?" I didn't want to have another confrontation like I had with Ms. Kwan.

"Sure Emma, that's fine. Make sure you get tonight's homework done," he said.

"Thanks, see you tomorrow." I really wanted to call Jay and check on the baby, but I didn't have time. I had Media Immersions. I slipped in my seat next to Manny as soon as the bell rang.

"Okay class," my dad said. "We have a project." Everyone groaned simultaneously. "Come on now, you know they're always fun. Yes Liberty?" he asked when she raised her hand.

"When is the project due?" she asked. I rolled my eyes. She's so annoying.

"Why don't you let me tell you about it first," he answered. "This is an individual project. You can pick any subject that has to do with the media, as long as you run it by me first. Once you have your subject, you have two weeks to make a webpage. You'll have half of each class to work on it; and you can use your study period as well. That's it; get started." As soon as Dad finished talking, I walked over to his desk.

"May I use the washroom?" I asked.

"Sure Emma, but make it quick; you have to get started on this project." I gladly left the classroom. As soon as I made it into the girl's washroom, I checked each stall, and then pulled out my cell phone. "Jay?" I asked as soon as he answered the phone.

"Em, is that you?" he asked.

"Yeah, listen, how is she?"

"The baby's fine Emma. I told you that you didn't have to worry about her. She's taking a nap right now." I looked at my watch to make sure it was the regular time she took her nap. It was.

"I'm glad that you're doing so well with her. Has she been eating okay? And have you changed her diaper?" I asked. I was still worried, even if he said things were okay.

"I've followed every instruction perfectly. Go back to class now. She'll be fine," he assured me.

"I'll be home as soon as school's over," I said. "Bye." I closed my cell phone and put it in my pocket. I fought back tears as I thought about my daughter. Even though I knew Jay, I still would have felt better if my mom was watching her. And I don't think I'll be able to leave her with strangers. That would be too much for me to handle. The only person besides my mom and dad that I really trusted Danica with was Oliver. And he's not even here to help me.

**-Flashback-**

"_Oliver, I just thought of something," I said as I lay in his arms on my bed. It was my first night back from the hospital. Danica was still there; she was sick._

"_What's that?" he asked. His voice made me feel better. It always did. _

"_What if you came back to Canada with me? You could stay at my house, or we could get an apartment together. You're the only person that I trust with my daughter."_

"_I can't do that Emma," he said, shattering all of my hopes. _

"_Why not?" I asked, tears falling from my eyes. _

"_I just can't okay? I can't leave my family or my friends or…" he trailed off, not finishing his sentence. _

"_Or what?" I asked. I turned and looked into his eyes. He wiped a tear from my cheek and brushed some hair out of my face. "Or what?" I repeated when he didn't answer. _

"_I gotta go." He jumped off the bed, grabbed his jacket, and left. _

**-End of Flashback-**

I never brought the subject up again. Oliver and I continued to see each other, and he helped me with the baby, but we never spoke of him coming with me. It hurt me to say goodbye. I never knew if he was just my best friend or if he was more than that. We hadn't talked about that either. I slowly walked back to class, staring at the ground. I wonder what Oliver's doing right now?

_Give me all your fear, throw it all away.  
__And think about the good things, no matter what they say,  
__We'll take tomorrow baby, yeah,  
__One day at a time._

* * *

_You just stare into space,  
__You found love but it got erased,  
__You're on the road with all the stoplights,  
__And you're too afraid to turn the wrong from right.  
__You ate your soul and it made ya fat,  
__Starve yourself from everything else that makes you completely full._

"Emma? Hello?" Manny shook me. I jumped. I had been lost in a daydream filled with Oliver and Danica and all the good things I had in L.A. All those things were taken away when I decided to go back to Toronto. Maybe I shouldn't have. Why does this have to be so hard?

I stared into my best friend's eyes. She had no idea what was going on in my life. She also had no idea of the lies that I was full of. She doesn't know who I am anymore. No one does. I don't think I do either.

"What is it Manny?" I asked, snapping out of it.

"Uh, the bell rang, didn't you hear it?" The bell. That means it's the end of the day. I have to get home.

"Oh yeah. I gotta go," I told her. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

"Wait!" she called after me. "I was thinking maybe we could hang out."

"I can't; I have a lot of homework to do." It wasn't exactly a lie.

"Oh, okay. Call me later I guess," she said, disappointed.

"Don't you have a wedding to plan anyway?" I asked. I don't even know why I said it. I didn't want to talk about this. But Manny's face instantly lit up.

"I totally forgot to ask you; will you be my maid of honor?" she asked. I bit my bottom lip; something I always do when I don't want to answer someone's question. It took all I had in me to answer her.

"Of course," I said. What if Craig tells her my secret? Great, there I go, thinking of that again. I hope I don't have to see him anymore. Maybe he'll forget about seeing me at Tric. I hope he does. I ran out to my car and jumped in, eager to see my baby.

_So you run, so you hide,  
__And you watched as they die,  
__They all fell, you could fall too,  
__Or you could sew your wings and try to fly right through._

As soon as I got home, I went straight down to my room to find Jay lying on my bed, with Danica asleep in his arms.

"She's taking another nap?" I asked, sitting down next to Jay.

"We had a long day. Took a walk in the park," he commented.

"Did anyone see you?" I asked him.

"No," Jay sighed. "Emma, just tell me. Is she your daughter?" he asked. I bit my lip. "So you don't want to answer," he said.

"What?"

"You're biting your lip. That means you don't want to answer." I stared at him in surprise. "I know more about you than you think Em. I really care about you," he said. I really don't need this stress right now. Why does he have to care about me so much?

"Yes," I whispered. "She's my daughter." A single tear rolled down my cheek and he wiped it away.

"You don't have to cry. I won't tell anyone. I promise."

"Really?" I asked him.

"Really."

"Jay, would you be interested in watching Danica every day while I'm at school? At least until I can find a daycare for her. I'll pay you," I told him.

"I'd love to," he said excitedly. "But you don't have to pay me," he added.

"I insist on it. I have to be responsible, and that includes paying for daycare for my daughter," I told him. "We can work out the money thing on Saturday, if that's okay. That's the night that I get paid, so would it be okay if I paid you on Sundays?" I asked.

"Of course, that's fine," he said. "I better get home though."

"Okay. Thank you so much Jay. I really owe you," I said, happy for the first time that day.

"You're welcome." He kissed me on the cheek and turned toward the window, ready to climb out.

"Jay?"

"Yeah?" he asked, turning around.

"Come to the door tomorrow," I told him.

"Okay." He flashed me a smile and went out the window. My hand went up to my cheek where he kissed me. A single tear ran from my eye. And I wasn't thinking about Jay. I was thinking about Oliver.

_Give me all your fear, throw it all away.  
__Think about the good things, no matter what they say.  
__We'll take tomorrow baby, yeah,  
__One day at a time,  
__Yeah...  
__One day at a time._

**A/N: The song is "Take Tomorrow (One Day at a Time)" by Butch Walker and he owns it. The ending is just to show how much Emma really loves Oliver…but has a little bit of feelings for Jay. fluffymello: you asked why Jay is not in school…if you reread his letter to Emma, it says that he took a year off before University to wait for her. Since Emma's a senior, he would have graduated the year she was gone in L.A. And for the few people that mentioned this…sorry I didn't add what happened while Jay was watching the baby…it would have been easy but I didn't think of it at the time and I've already written pretty far ahead. **


	7. Life Less Frightening

**Chapter Seven: Life Less Frightening **

_Suffering from something we're not sure of  
__In a world there is no cure for  
__These lives we live test negative for happiness  
__Flat line, no pulse, but eyes open  
__Single file like soldiers on a mission  
__If there's no war outside our heads  
__Why are we losing? _

Jay, Danica, and I safely made it through the rest of the week. I was exhausted, just barely finished all my homework, and still had to go to work on Saturday night. My parents watched the baby while I went to Tric.

"We've missed you," Mark said when I walked in.

"I have school, you know that," I told him. "I only work on the weekends now."

"Yeah, I know. But you need to make up for it," he said, smirking. I followed him up to his apartment, spent an hour of my time with some meaningless sex, and then went back down to the club to dance for three more hours.

"I'm leaving," I announced. "Can I have my check?" I asked Mark as I walked by the bar.

"What check?" he asked.

"My paycheck. I always get paid on Saturdays."

"Not anymore you don't. Listen Sky, when you only work on the weekends here, there's no paycheck. I can't pay you the usual if you're only here eight hours a week. All you get is your tips now; everyone knows that. It's the price you have to pay," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm already paying a price," I said through gritted teeth.

"Now that's a completely different situation," he told me. "Sorry, there's nothing you can do about it."

"And what if I told you that I quit?" I asked. That was bold. I need this job. "You'd lose more than half of your precious customers. I made this club popular. I can take that all away," I told him.

"Now, there's no need for that. I'd just have to tell the police that you were too young to be working here. That you showed me a fake ID and I had no idea you weren't eighteen," he said.

With tears in my eyes, I stormed off, shoving my tips in my pocket. Three hundred dollars. And I had to give Jay one hundred for the week. It was the amount we worked out for watching Danica. At least I had tomorrow night to make more money.

_I don't ask for much  
__Truth be told I'd settle for a life less frightening  
__A life less frightening _

* * *

On Sunday morning, I paid Jay, and then drove over to Brooklyn's house. We were going to spend the day together. In just a week she had become more of a best friend than Manny could be. It wasn't Manny's fault; I couldn't tell her about my daughter. 

When I got to Brooke's, I looked around to make sure Craig wasn't anywhere to be seen. I noticed that his car wasn't in the driveway, and neither was Joey's. Good, no one will see me. I ran from the car with Danica in my arms, knocking on the door, and jumping inside when Brooklyn opened it.

"Geez, what's the rush?" she asked me.

"I don't want anyone to see me!" I said in a whisper.

"Chill, no one's gonna hear you. You can talk in a normal voice in my house you know," she said, laughing.

"Sorry. I'm a little on edge," I confessed. "I'm afraid that Jay's gonna tell someone."

"I'm sure he won't. He said he cares about you and he'd never tell a secret like that."

"You talked to him?" I asked.

"Yeah. Remember, I dropped off some of Mad's stuffed animals. His dad spoils him too much. Anyway, Jay was watching her when I went over. We talked for a few minutes. He's a good guy," she said.

"Yeah I guess he is now. He's changed a lot. Anyway, this guy isn't really Maddox's dad. You gonna tell him?" I asked.

"I don't want to talk about it okay?"

"Fine, sorry. Who is your mystery boyfriend anyway? He's never around when we hang out," I said.

"Yeah, he's getting his apartment ready. I'm moving in with him. His parents bought all new furniture and he's moving things around. Maddox is actually over there right now," Brooklyn said.

"Isn't that a big step? Moving in with him, I mean?" I asked. It sounded like she was getting in over her head. This guy's bound to find out sooner or later.

"He insisted on it. He wants to be closer to his son," she said.

"But he's not really his son," I added.

"Emma, listen. Whether or not he's biologically the father of my son, it doesn't matter. He's the one that's been there for him since the day he was born. Can we just agree to disagree and drop the subject?" she asked.

"I guess," I sighed. What she was doing was wrong, but it is her life and I guess I just had to leave it be. I still felt really bad for the guy, even though I didn't even know him.

"Hello precious. Come see Aunty Brooke," she said, lifting Danica from my arms. Yeah, she was already referring to herself as Dani's aunt. I didn't mind though. It's not like she has any real Aunts or Uncles.

_Hang me out to dry, I'm soaking  
__With the sins of knowing what went wrong  
__But doing nothing, I still run  
__Time again I have found myself stuttering  
__Foundations pulled out from under me  
__This breath is wasted on them all  
__Will someone answer me?_

Danica and I stayed for a few hours, but then I had to get her back home. I still had to get ready for work. When I got home, my parents were sitting in the living room watching television.

"Emma, Dani needs more diapers. She only has a few left," my mom informed me.

"But I just bought some last week!" I said.

"Babies go through a lot of diapers. She also needs more formula. And food," my dad added.

"I guess I'm gonna have to start working during the week then," I said. "I'm gonna get Danica changed and then I'll just take her to the store with me." Normally, I'd leave Dani at home when I went to the store but I figured I'd just chance it. I can't keep her hidden forever. Besides, I can still tell people she's my cousin. I need time to figure this out.

I'm also definitely not working during the week at Tric. I'll have to find a normal job for that, or I'm sure I can think of something. It won't be too hard. I brought my baby down to my room, well, our room, and undressed her. She drooled all over herself and her clothes were soaked. I changed her diaper and put her in a light blue dress. Then I said goodbye to my parents and we made our way to Target.

At the store, I picked up two packages of diapers, more wipes, three cans of formula, and millions of jars of baby food. Okay, so I exaggerated a little with the millions, but it was close. Right when I was turning the corner at the end of the baby aisle, who do I see but Manny and Craig, holding hands, looking at kitchen appliances. They can not see me here!

I quickly sped back down the aisle and headed for the registers. The total for everything came up to one hundred dollars and thirty-four cents. Great. After paying Jay and buying this stuff, I have a hundred dollars plus what I make tonight for food and stuff.

Not to mention the fact that I'm still paying off all the medical bills. Those alone are four hundred dollars a month for a long time. My parents' health insurance paid for the birth and everything, but she was sick when she was born. So I have a bunch of money to pay for the month she was in the hospital. I definitely need to make more money. And fast.

I rushed home, left Danica with my parents, and then got dressed for work. I got there as fast as I could, hoping that maybe I would make a bunch of tips.

_I don't ask for much  
__Truth be told I'd settle for a life less frightening  
__A life less frightening _

**A/N: Sorry for the super short chapter. It's just a filler showing how Emma needs more money…you'll see next chapter how she goes about getting that money. The song is "Life Less Frightening" by Rise Against, they own it. **


	8. Let Me Go

**Chapter Eight: Let Me Go **

_One more kiss could be the best thing  
__But one more lie could be the worst  
__And all these thoughts are never resting  
__And you're not something I deserve_

I figured out how to make more money. But no one was gonna like it. That's why no one had to know. My parents thought I was taking extra shifts at the 'café' but I obviously wasn't.

"Mom! Dad! I'm going to work now. I'll be home in a few hours," I yelled.

"Okay honey, have fun," my mom said. I walked into the living room where my dad was holding Danica. I kissed her on her forehead.

"Goodbye sweetie. Mommy will be home soon," I cooed. I left the house and drove down to the ravine. When I got there, I made sure Jay wasn't around. He wasn't; but the van was.

I walked around for a few minutes until I found a guy I didn't know. He was leaning against a tree, smoking. I knelt down beside him and whispered something in his ear. A smile broke out across his face and he stood up, following me into the van.

"So let me get this straight," he said as soon as I closed the door behind me and sat across from him. "It's twenty for a blow job and fifty for sex?" he asked. I nodded my head.

"But only if you have a condom," I said. "And no kissing."

"Got it. So if I want both, I just give you seventy?"

"Yeah." The guy pretty much threw seventy bucks at me. I pocketed the money and did what I promised. He was satisfied. I know that this is the worst thing that I've ever done; but my daughter comes first in my life now. And she needs clothes and food. I'll do anything as long as I don't let her down. "Hey, tell your friends. Send someone in," I told him.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the van door, and another random guy came in. He only wanted sex. I got through that, and more and more guys kept coming. With each guy I became more depressed, but as I counted the money, I felt a little better. This would help out a lot.

Two hours and seven guys later, I had a total of four hundred and twenty dollars. That was pretty good. It was the kind of money I made in tips at Tric, only double the hours. I willed myself not to cry as I got ready to leave. I slid the van door open, only to find myself face to face with Jay. He flew past me into the van, dragging me in farther, and then slammed the door shut.

"Emma, what the fuck are you doing?" he asked, his head in his hands. He was really pissed.

"I was just leaving," I told him, trying to get up. He pushed me back into a sitting position.

"How could you do this to yourself?" he asked. I really thought he was going to cry.

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot Emma? Every guy out there is talking about you, and you've already been with about half of them," he said.

"Just like you've been with most of the girls that hang out here!" I yelled.

"That's different. I wasn't selling my body like you are. I've changed. I only came here because I was going to get this van and bring it home. This is wrong!" he yelled right back. "What are you gonna do when every guy at DCS is talking about you? How are you going to handle that?"

"No one will say anything; they won't want to admit they had to pay for some action Jay. That's the whole point of coming here," I said.

"How can you do this Emma?" Tears were forming behind his eyes, but he didn't let them spill over. "You're hurting yourself."

"Why do you even care?" I yelled. "You used me just like all these guys are; for a good time!"

"I care because…" he trailed off, leaning towards me and kissing me hard. "I love you."

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
__I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__So let me go  
__Let me go_

"You shouldn't," I whispered, pulling away from him. I stood up and threw open the van door, tears in my eyes. All the guys at the ravine started cheering when I stepped out, causing my tears to spill over and drench my cheeks. He's right. How could I sink this low? I ran to my car and got in, but Jay was right behind me. He got in on the passenger side and locked the door.

"Leave me alone Jay," I said. "Get out of my car."

"No, I won't. Why are you doing this Emma?" he asked.

"I need the money okay? You don't know what it's like to raise a baby when you're seventeen years old. I have to pay for her food, clothes, diapers, for you to watch her, and for her medical bills!" I cried.

"It doesn't have to be this way. Danica wouldn't want you to do this!" I suddenly fell silent. I had nothing to say. He was right; but I couldn't admit it. At least not to his face.

"There's nothing else I can do Jay. What do you want from me?" I asked him.

"Just promise me that you won't come back here," he said. "That's all I can ask."

_I dream ahead to what I hope for  
__And I turn my back on loving you  
__How can this love be a good thing?  
__And I know what I'm going through_

"I'm sorry. I can't promise you that. I'm coming back on Wednesday. I have to get home to my daughter now, so can you get out?" I asked.

"You're making a big mistake Emma," he said. He didn't want to leave me like this, hell, part of me didn't want him to leave either, but he got out of the car. As he let the door close, I sped off, leaving him standing alone in the darkness.

_And no matter how hard I try  
__I can't escape these things inside I know  
__I know  
__When all the pieces fall apart  
__You will be the only one who knows  
__Who knows  
__You love me but you don't know who I am  
__I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__So let me go  
__Just let me go_

_And you love me but you don't  
__You love me but you don't  
__You love me but you don't know who I am  
__And you love me but you don't  
__You love me but you don't  
__You love me but you don't know me_

Jay loves me. I know he's being sincere, and I feel something for him too. But I still love Oliver.

**A/N: The song is "Let Me Go" by 3 Doors Down. The music video is with Jesse Metcalfe (Miguel from Passions/John from Desperate Housewives) and Jodi Lynn O'Keefe. She's actually a stripper because she has to make money for rent and she breaks up with her boyfriend because she doesn't want him to know she has a baby. I still haven't figured out if the baby is supposed to be his because she has a picture of him up by her daughter's crib at the end and he sees her through the window. Anyway, it's a great video, check it out, and I thought it was perfect for this. More drama to come! And yes, I forgot about Jack being Dani's uncle…but I was kinda talking more along the lines of people to help take care of her and give her presents and all that…and Jack's not old enough. I wanted to actually get a few more reviews on chapters6 and 7 but I guess I can't be too picky. **


	9. Skin

**Chapter Nine: Skin**

_I drift away to a place  
__Another kind of life  
__Take away the pain  
__I create my paradise  
__Everything I've held has hit the wall  
__What used to be yours, isn't yours at all _

Jay came over the next morning and didn't say a word to me. I ignored him as well, and got ready for another boring Tuesday. When I made it to school, Manny was waiting by my locker.

"What's the deal with you?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you hate me or something? Is it because of Craig and me? I don't understand. You haven't been calling me, and we haven't hung out at all since you've been back," she explained.

"Of course I don't hate you!" I told her. "I've just been really busy. I have two jobs now and I have to watch Jack when I can. Mom started working during the day instead of at night too," I said.

"Oh. Well, then can I come over tonight? I just have nothing to do and I wanted to talk to you about stuff," she said. I sighed. I guess I have to tell her sooner or later. She's my best friend. I feel really bad keeping it from her. If the situation was reversed, I know she would have told me the minute she got pregnant.

"Yeah, just meet me at my house around three. I have some stuff to do after school gets out," I said.

"Ok cool. See ya then!" she called over her shoulder as she went off to homeroom. I could tell she was really excited. But I'm not. I'm going to dread this all day long.

_Falling apart and all that I'm asking  
__Is it a crime, am I over reacting?_

Nothing happened at all during homeroom, reading was pretty boring, and then I failed my math test. I got a lecture from Mr. Armstrong that it wasn't like me to fail and maybe I should get a tutor, all of this crap. I told him that I just didn't have time to study because I had been working so much. I charmed him into letting me take a makeup test after school on Thursday.

I was actually doing well on my Media Immersions project. I decided to do the website on the media's impact on teenagers. It has links to talk about drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, etc. Dad loves it and it's one of the best ones in the class. It's easy to do because we have a lot of time to work on it. After that was lunch and music, both of which were uneventful.

Science was good as usual. The teacher announced that we'd have a new student starting tomorrow. Brooklyn leaned over and whispered that it was her boyfriend. We shared the excitement, and then got to work on our lab experiment.

In theater, Mr. Wentworth handed out scripts for the play we'll be doing. It's his own adaptation of Pirates of the Caribbean. I can't wait. I'm going to try out for Elizabeth. He just had us skim the scripts and start learning parts for auditions.

I fell asleep in study period, as usual. When the bell rang I shot up and walked through the hall, ready to leave. Then I saw Brooklyn at her locker, talking to some guy. He had his back to me, but he looked familiar from behind. Brooke waved me over to her. I figured it must be her boyfriend.

"Em! Come here! I want you to meet my boyfriend," she said as I approached them. He turned around. We both stared at each other in shock. It was Oliver.

He never told me about Brooklyn. Or Maddox. That's why he couldn't leave L.A. But he's here now. I felt myself fill with hatred.

"How could you?" I asked, tears in my eyes. Brooklyn stared on in amazement.

"Wait, you two know each other?" she asked. I didn't know what to do. So I ran, tears stinging my cheeks.

"Emma, wait!" Oliver called after me. I knew he was trying to catch up to me.

"Leave me alone Oliver!" I shouted, not looking back.

_Oh, he's under my skin  
__Just give me something to get rid of him  
__I got a reason now to bury this alive  
__Another little white lie _

I ran and ran until I made it to the front doors. Oliver was close behind me, but he hadn't caught up yet. I ran down the steps and bolted for the parking lot.

_So, what you had didn't fit among the pretty things  
__Never fear, never fear, I now know where you've been  
__Braids have been untied as ribbons fall away  
__Leave the consequence, my tears you'll taste _

When I was almost to my car, I slowed down, and I could see Jay there waiting for me. Wait, why was he here? Where was my daughter? Did something happen? I remembered that Oliver was following me, and I sped up again.

_I don't believe I'll be alright  
__I don't believe I'll be ok  
__I don't believe how you've thrown me away _

I got to my car and Jay looked confused. He didn't know why I was running. Out of breath, I took a second before I said anything. I turned around to see Oliver standing about three feet behind me. He had stopped too. I looked into his eyes and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

_I do believe you didn't try  
__I do blame you for every lie  
__When I look in your eyes I don't see mine _

Then I did it. I turned around and kissed Jay, shoving my tongue into his mouth, Oliver watching the entire time.

"I love you too."

_Oh, he's under my skin  
__Just give me something to get rid of him  
__I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
__Another little white lie _

I'm lying, I know I am. But Oliver doesn't. He saw the kiss and he heard what I said. That's what I wanted, isn't it? I turned around and watched Oliver start to walk back toward Brooklyn, who was only halfway to my car by then.

I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. Right? Wrong. I instantly felt extreme guilt for doing that to him, then turned back to Jay. He was beaming. I can't believe I just did that. I remember when Jay did this to me with Alex. Then I did it right back with Dracula in the hallway. But this wasn't like that. Not at all. I just screwed up big time.

_Oh, my permission to sin  
__You might have started my reckoning  
__I've got a reason now to bury him alive  
__Another little white lie_

**A/N: Mr. Wentworth is my made up character. I own him. Okay, sorry it's so short but this is all I wanted to happen in the chapter. I promise the next one's going to be longer, with Jay and Emma talking, then Manny going over her house, and some other stuff. I also don't remember who the kid was who played Dracula in their play, which is why I had her say that. The song is "Skin" by Alexz Johnson and she owns it. I love it so much and it fit well. Oh and please readmy new onshot "RainOn My Moonlit Desire." I posted it last night andI was hoping for a bunchof reviews. And just a reminder on this story,please review every chapter you read! **


	10. The Brilliant Dance

**Chapter Ten: The Brilliant Dance**

_So this is odd  
__The painful realization  
__That all has gone wrong  
__And nobody cares at all  
__And nobody cares at all  
__So you buried all your lover's clothes  
__And burned the letters lover wrote  
__But it doesn't make it any better  
__Does it make it any better?_

Jay stood there, dumbstruck, until he pulled himself together.

"Uh…I'll be going now," he muttered.

"Hold on," I said, grabbing his arm. "Where's Dani?" I asked.

"Right there," he replied, pointing to his car. She was there, asleep in her car seat.

"Why did you come here then? Did something happen?"

"No, I just thought we'd surprise you," he shrugged.

"What if someone saw you?" I hissed.

"I dunno. I'd tell them she was my sister or something. It's not their business anyway." I rolled my eyes.

"Just meet me at my house," I said, jumping in my car and driving off. He really has got some nerve…but, then again…I just told him that I loved him. I didn't even mean it. Now what am I going to do? I just jumped at the chance to make Oliver jealous or something.

_And the plaster dented from your fist  
__In the hall where you had your first kiss  
__Reminds you that the memories will fade_

I got to my house, and somehow, Jay beat me there. He was already down in my bedroom, putting Danica into her crib. He sighed, looked over at me, and then slowly walked up the stairs.

"Jay, wait," I said, before he walked out of the house. I dragged him into the living room, and we sat on the couch.

"Listen, about that kiss…" he started to say. I bit my lip. "Not that I'm complaining, 'cause it was good, but…I know your heart wasn't in it," he finished.

"What do you mean?" I acted all innocent, but he knew I was pretending.

"Look, I'm smarter than you think Emma. I know you don't really love me. For some twisted reason, you said you did. Probably because the kid following you pissed you off. I'm gonna guess he's Oliver."

"How did you know?" I asked, surprised.

"The way you looked at him. It was a look of defeat, but you still weren't giving up. You love him," he said. I just stared at him. It was my turn to be dumbstruck. When I didn't answer, he continued. "Come on Emma, you may not realize it, but you talk about him all the time.

"I do not!" I protested, snapping out of it.

"Yes, you do. 'Oliver just knows me. He feels what I feel. I really miss Oliver. Do you think I should call Oliver? Oh Jay, Oliver has a mohawk and a few tattoos; I think you'd like him,'" he said, mocking me. I laughed.

"I didn't realize it. Sorry," I said.

"That's okay. But Em, I don't want to be used. I'm not gonna pretend to be your boyfriend just to piss this guy off."

"I know. I won't do that, I promise. But can you do me a favor?" I asked.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Will you take Danica to your house for awhile?"

"Uh…why?" he asked.

"Well, Manny is coming over, and, I just thought…" I trailed off.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked. "I can't take her crib and all that stuff. Emma, I can't erase your daughter from your life for a couple of hours," he told me.

"I know, I just…I thought I was ready to tell her." I sighed.

"Just tell her she can't come over. If you're not ready, then you don't have to tell," he suggested. Then the doorbell rang.

"I think it's too late for that," I said. "Will you at least stay while I tell her?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Thanks! You're a great friend." He smiled at me. Wow, I can actually make Jay Hogart happy without getting in his pants. The doorbell rang again, dragging me from my thoughts.

"You gonna answer that?" I rolled my eyes and stood up. This is it. Pulling the door open, I greeted my best friend. She walked into the house, saw Jay, and froze.

"Uh…hi Jay," she said. He waved in reply and stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Manny, I want you to meet someone," I said.

"I already know Jay," she said. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards my room. Jay silently followed. We got downstairs and I brought Manny over to the crib. She looked down at Dani, who was wiggling around, smiling. "She's beautiful Em. Whose is she?"

"Meet Danica. She's my daughter." Manny backed up and let herself drop onto my bed.

"But…how…?" she asked. Then her eyes flew to Jay. "Is he…her dad?" she asked. My heart started pounding in my chest.

"Yeah," I said, looking at the ground.

"I better go," Jay said. He backed up, watching us both, before turning around and leaving. My room was silent, except for the sound of Dani's laughter. I walked over to the crib, picked her up, and then sat down next to Manny.

"Emma, why didn't you tell me?" she finally asked, turning to face me. I bit my lip.

_So this is strange  
__Our sidestepping has come to be  
__A brilliant dance where nobody leads at all  
__Where nobody leads at all_

* * *

"How did all of this happen?" Jay asked, face in his hands. As soon as Manny left, I called him back over.

"I don't know. I'm sorry," I whined. I was trying to keep my tears back, but it wasn't working very well.

"Well, what did Manny say?" he asked me.

**-Flashback-**

"_Emma, why didn't you tell me?" she finally asked, turning to face me. I bit my lip._

"_I was afraid to tell anyone I guess. I mean, her father didn't even know," I told her. "I guess I was afraid that you would all disown me." I started to cry. I couldn't help it. _

"_Why would you think that? I'm your best friend Emma. You can tell me anything," she said, rubbing my back. Yeah, right, I thought to myself. Anything. _

"_I'm sorry for not telling you," I said. I really was too. If anything, I needed her there for me at a time like this. _

"_Don't worry about it. Em, she's beautiful. I'm so glad that you finally decided to tell me. How old is she?" _

"_She's five months," I said._

"_How does Jay feel about all of this?" Manny asked me, looking down at my baby. _

"_He really loves her; I can tell. And he stays with her while I'm at school," I said. _

"_That's good then. At least he's good for something."_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, angry. "He's a good person Manny; he's changed!"_

"_I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." We hugged and then her cell phone started going off. "Oh, it's from Craig," she said, reading the text message. "We've got to go shopping. But I'll definitely come and hang out with you guys some other time, okay?" I nodded my head and watched her go. This is not going well. It may seem like it; but I doubt things are going to all be better now. _

**-End Of Flashback-**

"So…I'm her father?" he asked, staring down at Danica. He was holding her while she slept. I had just finished telling him about my talk with Manny.

"Well…yeah."

"Emma?"

"Yeah Jay?"

"I'm just finding this hard to grasp," he said, sitting down beside me.

"Why?"

"Well, don't you have to actually have sex to make a baby?" he asked. "I mean, I could be wrong, but I think I was actually paying attention in health that day."

"I panicked! I didn't know what to say. Forgive me?" I asked him. I needed him.

"I said I didn't want to be used."

"This is different. I'm not using you against Oliver!" I whined.

"But you're using me as a safety net. Well, I'm not always going to be there when you fall. I can't always catch you!"

"But you're here now," I whispered. I leaned over and kissed him. He kissed me back, but then pulled away.

"You're doing it again Emma!"

"Doing what?" I asked. I don't know why I just kissed him. It felt right.

"Using me! Who were you kissing just now? Me, or Oliver?" I didn't answer him. For some reason, I couldn't. "That's what I thought," he said, handing my daughter to me. "I gotta go."

I watched Jay leave with a longing. He loved me; why couldn't that be enough for me? Because I still love Oliver, that's why. Jay is a good person now. But he's not the one for me.

I put Danica in her crib, and was about to do some homework, when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID. Unavailable number. I decided to answer it.

"Emma, I need to talk to you."

"What part of 'leave me alone' couldn't you understand?" I slammed the phone down. Why couldn't it be enough?

_And the picture frames are facing down  
__And the ringing from this empty sound  
__Is deafening and keeping you from sleep.  
__And breathing is a foreign task  
__And thinking's just too much to ask  
__And you're measuring your minutes by a  
__Clock that's blinking eights._

_This is incredible  
__Starving, insatiable  
__Yes, this is love for the first time  
__Well, you'd like to think that you were invincible  
__Yeah, well weren't we all once  
__Before we felt loss for the first time?  
__This is the last time. _

**A/N: The song is "The Brilliant Dance" by Dashboard Confessional and they own it. So far, this is my favorite chapter that I've written. Tell me what you think. **


	11. Sick Cycle Carousel

**Chapter Eleven: Sick Cycle Carousel **

_If shame had a face I think it  
__Would kind of look like mine  
__If it had a home would it be my eyes  
__Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this  
__Well here we go now one more time _

It was Wednesday night; time to go back to the ravine. I left Danica with my parents, and headed over there. I walked around for a few minutes, before realizing what Jay had done. The van was gone. At that moment, a guy walked up to me and propositioned me.

"Wait here," I told him. I rushed off to my car. I took Danica's car seat and put it in the front passenger seat. Then I went back to they guy who was still waiting. I led him to my car.

"Here?" he asked.

"Well, the van's gone. Where else is there?" I asked.

"I got my own van," he said.

"Fine, we'll go there then." He led me through the ravine, to the other side, where his van was parked. I climbed in, and he closed and locked the door behind him.

"What do you want done?" I asked. He tossed fifty dollars at me in reply. I put it in my pocket. Then he leaned forward and kissed me. I pulled away. "I don't do kissing," I said.

"You do if I say you do!" he said, getting a little angry. He kissed me again, harshly pulling me down by my hair until my back hit the floor of the van.

"STOP!" I screamed when he finished kissing me. "Let me out!" He climbed on top of me, sitting on my legs so I couldn't kick him. Then he laid his left arm down across my chest, pinning me to the floor. "HELP!" I screamed, wriggling around, trying to get away. He kissed me again to silence me, but I bit his bottom lip. Frustrated, he slapped me across the face, and clamped his left hand over my mouth. His lip dripped blood onto my white tank top.

Lifting his arm up, but still covering my mouth, he pulled my shirt up, and then ripped my bra off, breaking the clasp and exposing my chest. I cringed as he kissed me between my breasts, and worked his way down my stomach. He reached down and unbuttoned my jeans, then unzipped them. It took him awhile to pull them off because they were tight, but he did, leaving my legs bare and cold. His hand glided up my leg, all the way up in between my inner thighs. Tears drenched my face and spilled over the sides, down to the floor.

For a split second, he took his hand off my mouth to kiss me. As he kissed me, shoving his tongue down my throat, I heard something. Or someone.

"EMMA?" It was him. The moment the guy's lips left mine, I screamed.

"JAY!" He clamped his hand back over my mouth, but it was too late. Through the tinted window, I could see Jay. He tried the door, but it was obviously locked. I struggled more, trying to kick the guy, but he was too strong. Knowing he was found out, the guy let go of my mouth, trying to finish what he started. He pulled my underwear off, and got his pants down, pulling the boxers down with them. "HELP!" I screamed to Jay.

I saw him punch the window, trying to break the glass. It cracked in a few places, but didn't shatter. He punched it again, as my attacker thrust himself inside me. I screamed out in pain as Jay punched the window once more, succeeding.

Glass flew, hitting my legs. Jay's hand reached in, unlocking the door. The guy was still going at it. I had gotten used to sex, but not this kind of pain. I cried out, but Jay threw the door open, grabbing the guy off of me. He punched him in the face, then kicked him as he fell.

I scrambled into a corner of the van, putting my underwear on and fixing my shirt. My tear-filled eyes met with Jay's rage-filled ones. He was fuming. He jumped on the guy, punching him repeatedly. I got up and out of the van, grabbing Jay's arm.

"Stop Jay! Let's go," I pleaded. But he didn't listen. The guy's face was a bloody mess, but Jay wouldn't stop. He was so angry. He finally stopped when the guy wasn't moving anymore.

"Let's get out of here," he said, grabbing my hand and leading me in the opposite direction. I started to run, but my knees gave out. I was weakened by pain, sadness, anger, and a feeling of unworthiness. I collapsed in tears on the ground. Jay instantly ran to me. He pulled his sweatshirt off and put it on me, covering me. I realized that my pants were still back in that guy's van. Jay picked me up and carried me back to my car. He lay me down in the backseat and drove me home. We climbed in through the window, and he put me on my bed. He tried to lay me down, but I wouldn't. I sat up, staring off into space.

When I finally came out of it, Jay was sitting next to me. He was afraid to touch me, afraid of what my reaction would be. I could tell. Then I looked down and realized there was blood all over my comforter.

"Jay, your hand," I said and gasped. His hand was bloody with pieces of glass still stuck in it. It was broken too. It was purple and swollen. "You have to go to the hospital," I told him.

"So do you," he said.

"No I don't," I told him, looking away.

"Emma! You were just raped! You have to go. You have to nail this guy," he told me.

"And how do you suppose I do that?" I yelled back. "I don't even know who he was. Besides, he'd win! Every guy at the ravine would say I was such a whore and probably come to his defense. And you beat the crap out of him, and would probably be labeled a 'jealous boyfriend' and get charged with assault. It's not gonna happen. I have enough to worry about right now."

"Emma…" he started to say, but I cut him off.

"No Jay! I'm taking you to the hospital." I rummaged through my drawers and put sweatpants on. Looking in my mirror, I wiped the tears from my eyes and fixed my makeup. I brushed my hair until it was smooth, and then led Jay back through the window. We drove to the hospital in silence.

_So when will this end?  
__It goes on and on  
__Over and over and over again  
__Keep spinning around  
__I know that it won't stop  
__Till I step down from this for good_

* * *

"How did this happen?" the doctor asked Jay as he pulled glass from his hand. When Jay didn't answer, I spoke for him.

"One of those stupid parties you know?" I said. "We were playing truth or dare," I lied.

"And someone dared him to punch a window out?" Dr. Reed asked me.

"Yeah. It was our friend's old car."

"Is this true Mr. Hogart?" Jay hung his head, still not answering.

"He's a little embarrassed. The guys were teasing him because he sorta cried a little." The lies were coming easier and easier. Jay's head shot up and he glared at me. The doctor took this as him being mad I told, so he figured I was telling the truth.

"Well, here's the deal. You need stitches in this gash," he said, pointing to a cut across the back of Jay's hand. "However, you also need a cast, seeing as you broke your second, third, and fourth metacarpal bones. So, I'll have to stitch you up, put the cast on, and take it right back off again when you get your stitches out. Then, I'll have to put another cast on because I know the bones won't be healed yet," he explained. Jay simply nodded. Dr. Reed put five stitches in his hand, and then fitted it with this huge cast (Jay chose a black one) that went over his hand, with just the tips of his fingers sticking out of the top. "You're all set Mr. Hogart," the doctor told him. He gave Jay some papers to sign and then we were able to leave.

We set off for my house. Everything was silent until Jay decided he wanted to have a heart to heart. Again.

"Wow Em, pretty good at lying," he said.

"Thanks, I try," I told him, grinning.

"It's not something to be proud of you know."

"What's your problem?" I asked, getting mad. "I just saved your ass in there and you can't even thank me?"

"Thanks Emma. Really. But I'm still worried about you. I want to help you," he pleaded.

"The only way for you to help me is keep watching Danica. That's all I need from you," I said.

"Emma, I don't want to be your Prince that comes and sweeps you off your feet. I just want to help you get your life back on track. You don't need the ravine, it's not good for you," he said.

"Let me ask you something. How did you find me tonight?" I asked, choking back tears. I was realizing what really happened to me, and if Jay hadn't come, I don't know what could have happened.

"I really wanted to believe that you wouldn't go back there. But I knew you wouldn't be able to just walk away. I knew you needed the money. That's why I took the van back home with me. I didn't want you using it to hurt yourself more. I never even dreamed that some other guy had his own van down there. So anyway, I went to the ravine tonight, hoping that I wouldn't find you. I asked around and some girls said they saw you follow the guy to the other side. I saw the van and got upset, then I heard you," he explained. By the time his story was finished, we were back at my house.

"Jay?"

"Yeah Emma?"

"Thanks." He smiled at me.

"You're not going back there are you?" he asked, worried.

"No, I promise. But I need more money. My weekend job doesn't pay enough," I told him.

"I'll find a way to help you. I promise," he told me. "Take care of yourself Emma, I'll see you tomorrow." We hugged and I watched him walk off in the direction of his house. For some reason, he wouldn't let me see it.

_I tried to climb your steps  
__I tried to chase you down  
__I tried to see how low I could get it down to the ground  
__I tried to earn my way  
__I tried to tame this mind  
__You better believe that I tried to beat this_

"I'm home!" I called into the living room. The house was dark and no one was around. Then I looked at the clock, it was almost two in the morning! I didn't realize we waited so long at the ER. Great, now my parents will be pissed at me in the morning. I went downstairs, checked on Dani, got into my pajamas, and climbed into bed.

I felt dirty. I wanted to take a shower, but it would probably wake my parents up. I tried to hold back the tears that wanted to spill out. It didn't work. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have gone to the ravine. Jay was right. For once, he was smarter than me. And now I feel so helpless. What if I'm pregnant again? Or got another STD? What is wrong with me?

_I never thought I'd end up here  
__Never thought I'd be standing where I am  
__I guess I kinda thought it would be easier than this  
__I guess I was wrong now one more time  
__Sick cycle carousel  
__This is a sick cycle carousel, yeah  
__Sick cycle carousel  
__This is a sick cycle, yeah  
__Sick cycle carousel _

**A/N: The song is out of order in the story, but it's "Sick Cycle Carousel" by Lifehouse and they own it. I'm pretty sure I'll reveal the father next chapter! Sorry it's taken so long, but in Emma's world it's really only been a week and a half since the story started! **


	12. Confessions

**Chapter Twelve: Confessions**

_I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool  
__Everyone's got their chains to break, holdin' you  
__Were you born to resist or be abused?  
__Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
__Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_

"Emma, wake up." I quickly sat up and looked around. My mom was standing next to my bed. "Forget to set your alarm?" she asked. I looked at the clock; it was seven. Glancing towards the crib, I noticed that Danica was still sleeping. I flopped back onto the bed.

"I don't feel good," I said, clutching my stomach. It was true. I think I was making myself sick, thinking about last night.

"Do you need to stay home from school today?" she asked. I nodded my head. "Well, if you don't feel good, don't go near Dani. She could get sick. You should just rest and let Jay take care of her. I'll call your dad so he can tell the school you won't be in."

"Okay," I said, closing my eyes.

"How late did you get in last night?" Mom asked.

"Around two. But don't get mad!" I said, opening my eyes again. "I worked late and then came across Jay. I had to take him to the hospital," I said, telling the truth for once.

"What happened? Is he okay?" she asked, worried.

"Yeah, he's fine. He broke his hand after doing something stupid when someone dared him to," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, well is he still going to be able to take care of Danica?"

"Yeah, I'm sure he will." I closed my eyes once again.

"Okay honey, I have to get to work. I love you, bye," she said, kissing me on my forehead.

"I love you too, bye Mom," I replied before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_Are you gone and onto someone new  
__I needed somewhere to hang my head without your noose  
__You gave me something that I didn't have but had no use  
__I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose  
__My heart is under arrest again but I break loose  
__My head is giving me life or death but I can't choose  
__I swear I'll never give in, I refuse_

When I woke up again, I rolled over, only to see Jay sitting right next to me. He had Dani's highchair pulled up next to the bed and was feeding her some warmed baby food. I watched as he made airplane noises and waved the spoon around. Danica was giggling away. It was really cute. But it reminded me of Oliver.

**-Flashback-**

"_Look at how beautiful she is Emma," Oliver said, holding my baby out to me._

"_Be careful!" I said. I tried to hide my tears from him, but it didn't work._

"_She's going to get better. You need to hold her; it'll help," he told me. We were in the NICU. Just then, I could have sworn that I saw her smile. _

"_She loves you," I said, wiping my tears away. I took her from Oliver, convinced by her smile that she would be fine. _

**-End of Flashback-**

"Em? Are you okay?" Jay asked, snapping me out of my memory. It seemed like it was only a few days ago that I fell in love with Oliver. But it's been nearly a year.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied.

"How'd you sleep?" I noticed that he didn't mention anything about the previous night.

"Good. Let me clean her up for you," I said, getting off the bed. I took her out of her highchair and brought her over to her changing table. I wiped her face off, changed her diaper, and then tried to find an outfit to put her in. "Great," I said out loud, sighing.

"What's wrong?" Jay asked.

"She doesn't fit into any of these clothes!" I whined.

"Do you have any money to get some new ones?"

"Yeah, but all I have is fifty dollars left until Saturday," I told him.

"Well, let's go shopping, pick out just a few outfits, and she'll have enough until you can get more. And if you need any more money, I can lend you some, okay?"

"That sounds good. Not to be rude but, what money do you have other than what I pay you? I mean, you don't have another job," I questioned him.

"I have contacts," he said with a grin.

"Whatever. I guess she can go to the store in her pajamas. I just have to go take a quick shower. I'll be back," I said, handing her over to Jay.

As soon as I was dressed and ready to go, I walked into the living room to find Jay playing with Danica.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Yeah." He picked Dani up, slung the baby bag over his shoulder, and headed off to the car. He was really starting to look like her father. The way he took care of her so well, how he always held her carefully. I realized that I wasn't being fair to him. Here he was, helping me raise my child, when he wasn't even the father. And he's told me that he loves me, which makes me think that he's only doing this for that reason. But he loves Danica. And here I am, wishing that Oliver was the one holding her.

_Has someone taken your faith?  
__It's real, the pain you feel  
__The life, the love, you die to heal  
__The hope that starts the broken hearts  
__Your trust, you must confess_

Jay and I walked around in the baby clothes section, picking out clothes for Danica. I felt a pang of guilt every time I saw him tickle her, or kiss her on the forehead. I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Let's go," I said as soon as we had about five definite outfits for her and three pairs of pajamas.

"That's not enough clothes for her," he protested. "Look, I have some money and I want to help pay for it. She needs some dresses," he said, walking over to a rack full of dresses. He started sifting through them.

"Jay, you shouldn't be helping pay!" I said, raising my voice. "She's not your daughter!" His head snapped up and he glared at me. He was holding a beautiful light purple dress. He threw it into the cart and started pushing it.

"I know," he said through gritted teeth. "You're right, let's go." I rushed to catch up with him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put it like that," I said, taking a hold of his arm. He shook me off.

"Whatever Emma. Let's just go ring this stuff up and get out of here." He sped off, and I walked as fast as I could to keep up. We got to the register and he still ignored me. While waiting in line, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around and nearly fainted.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked Manny and Craig. "And why aren't you in school?" I directed the second question at Manny. She shrugged.

"Craig picked me up early. We're just shopping," she said innocently.

"So this must be the little one I've been hearing all about," Craig said, tickling Danica under her chin. Jay glared at him defensively, and Dani pulled back, about to cry. I turned and glared at Manny who gave me her 'sorry, it slipped' look and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm gonna go change her," Jay announced, picking her up and grabbing the baby bag. He left off in search of the nearest bathroom, leaving me with Manny and Craig. Great.

"So, uh, is there any reason that you guys are shopping here?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"We're just preparing for when we have kids," Craig said.

"That's not any time soon I hope…" I said. Manny shot me a look, and Craig just smiled. This was so awkward.

"No, just planning a little ahead. Manny, we better go. Nice seeing you Emma," he said. Manny waved to me and they walked off. I quickly paid for Danica's clothes, spending the rest of my money, and met Jay back at the car. When we were driving home, Jay asked me something I wasn't prepared to answer.

"So, who is he?" he asked.

"Who?"

"Her father. You made it a big point to say I'm not her dad, which I already knew, but I want to know who is. And why isn't he taking care of her?" he asked.

"I'm really not ready to say," I said, looking out the window.

"Yeah, well, whoever he is, he sure doesn't know what he's missing." Jay smirked at me, and I wasn't quite sure what he meant. Regardless, we were back at my house, and he didn't make any move to get out of the car. I got Danica and her new clothes out of the car and started walking up to my house. "See ya Greenpeace!" Jay yelled out the window. He hasn't called me that in a long time. It brought back some memories that I didn't want to think about. I rushed inside. I had some calls to make.

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
__Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
__I've got another confession, my friend, I'm no fool  
__I'm getting tired of starting again somewhere new  
__Were you born to resist or be abused?  
__I swear I'll never give in, I refuse_

I lay in bed that night, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. I keep thinking about what happened on Wednesday night. Every time I close my eyes, I have visions of that guy forcing himself on me. My pillow was soaked with tears, and Danica kept waking up. For some reason, I think she knew that I felt like shit and she was trying to comfort me.

I may be able to pretend that nothing happened, and pretend that I'm fine, but I know I'm not. I don't want Jay to see how much this is hurting me, and I don't want to be a bad mother to Danica if it's all I can think about. So I push my rape into the back of my mind, but it haunts me at night.

Why did this have to happen to me right when I needed to be strong for my daughter? I know why. Because I'm a slut. I slept around with guys at the ravine, so I probably gave this guy the wrong impression of me. It's my fault. I became the cheap, easy whore that I was always afraid of becoming. Ever since Manny got pregnant, I convinced myself that I wasn't going to turn out like that. And yet, here I am.

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
__Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
__Has someone taken your faith?  
__It's real, the pain you feel  
__Your trust, you must confess  
__Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_

**A/N: The part at the end is to show that I'm not just going to have Emma be raped and have that be the end of it…I just wanted to show that she blames herself and everything, but she's determined to not let it affect her taking care of the baby. Anyway, the song is "Best of You" by Foo Fighters…it's a great song and they own it. I know that everyone really wants me to say the father, and I said that it would be happening this chapter, but it didn't work out! Next chapter; I promise! Oh I'm so excited because Sean made a guest appearance on ER tonight! (October 13). He looked super hot and his hair was longish and curly. Just thought I'd tell you. Might I add I just got home from the best concert I've ever been to! It was Dashboard Confessional and it rocked. **


	13. Last Night Part 1

**Chapter Thirteen: Last Night (Part One) **

_Can you feel the rain  
Can you feel the cold surround you  
You and I are the same  
Perfect in our own weird way_

I woke up on Friday morning, thankful that it was almost the weekend. I got ready for school, and Danica still wasn't awake yet. Lately, she's been sleeping in. After I ate breakfast, I still had twenty minutes before school started. Jay walked right into the house and down to my room while I was getting Dani dressed.

"We have to talk Jay," I said, sitting down on my bed. It became the place where things always got discussed. He sat down beside me and took Danica, holding her close, and kissing her on the forehead. It was so strange to see this side of him; but so comforting at the same time.

"What's up?" he asked when he realized I was staring at him. I sighed and bit my lip. I didn't know how he was going to take this.

"Jay…this is your last day," I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I found a day care for Danica. I won't need you to watch her after today," I explained.

"How could you do that to me?" he asked, tears in his eyes. Wow, I didn't think he'd get this upset.

"It's not fair that you're helping raise her when you're not her father Jay! She doesn't need to grow up with someone who won't always be there. You don't need this either!" I yelled. Danica started crying and I took her from him.

"I want to help!" he yelled back. "I love her!"

"She starts on Monday. Bye honey," I whispered, kissing her, handing her back to him, and leaving.

_Do you believe that things can change  
Do you believe they stay the same  
'Cause I don't need your light to light my way  
I don't need it I'm wide awake_

"Emma, why weren't you in school yesterday?" Mr. Armstrong asked me at the end of class.

"I was sick."

"Well, you missed your makeup test," he said.

"Shoot! I forgot about it," I groaned.

"Why didn't you just tell us you had a baby? Surely we'll all do our best to help you," he said.

"What?" I yelled. "Who told you?"

"Ms. Santos was worried about you. She…" I cut him off.

"Manny told you? I can't believe her! I don't need special treatment okay? I just want to get through my last year!" I yelled.

"There's no need to get so upset. I'll schedule you another makeup."

"I don't want another one! I'll just take the failing grade okay? I don't want everyone knowing about my daughter, which is why I never told Manny in the first place. Can you promise not to tell any of my other teachers?" I asked him. "Please. I don't want people to pity me or something just because I'm a teenage mother."

"I'm sorry Emma; we had a staff meeting yesterday. They already know," Mr. Armstrong told me.

"Ugh! I don't believe this!" I stormed out of the room and into Media Immersions, five minutes late. Dad saw me crying, so he didn't say anything to me about being late.

"What's wrong?" Manny asked as I sat down next to her.

"You told everyone!" I hissed. "I can't believe you!"

"I only told Craig," she said, knowing very well what I was talking about.

"And Mr. Armstrong, who told the rest of the teachers and the principal!" Manny covered her mouth with her hand.

"I'm so sorry Em! I didn't mean to. And I didn't know he was going to tell!" I could tell she really meant it.

"I guess I can forgive you." I wiped the tears off my face and directed my attention at my website, which was due at the end of class.

* * *

The only other interesting thing that happened during the day was auditions for Pirates of the Caribbean. I wasn't all that prepared, because of course, I forgot. But I think my audition went pretty well. All I had to do was make it through study hall, and then the list would be posted.

I rushed out to the main hallway as soon as the bell rang. People were crowed all around the list. Some were laughing and yelling in excitement, others turned and walked way, either crying or pissed off. As soon as the area cleared a bit, I approached the list. Looking at the very top, I found Captain Jack Sparrow, traced the line with my finger, and ended on the name James York. Wow, I never expected JT to try out for that part.

Taking a deep breath, I found Elizabeth Swann. Doing the same as before, I traced the line. The name at the end was…Emma Nelson! Yes, I got the part! I mentally jumped for joy, and then scanned the rest of the list with a huge smile plastered on my face. William Turner…Oliver James. Oh. My. God. This cannot be happening. The smile left my face.

"You don't look very happy for someone who just made the female lead in a play," someone said. I turned and found myself face to face with Oliver.

"Go away," I said, turning around and heading for the main doors. I walked out onto the steps, knowing full well that he was following me.

"Emma, please. I need to talk to you. Give me a chance to explain!" he begged.

"Explain what?" I asked, whirling around to face him. "That the entire time we were together; everything was a lie? That you had a girlfriend and a son? That you never even loved me? It was all a lie Oliver!" I yelled. I turned around, determined to leave, when he grabbed my arm.

"It wasn't a lie! I never loved Brooklyn!" he yelled. "I was going to break up with her the day she told me she was pregnant. But I couldn't abandon my own child! I stayed with her for Maddox. When I met you, I fell for you. Hard. And I didn't want to lose you. But you left. And when Brooke told me that she was moving here; I was so excited. I knew that I would finally get the chance to tell you everything. I never knew that she'd end up being a good friend of yours before I ever got the chance to tell you! I love you Emma!"

"How can I believe that?" I whispered, tears forming behind my eyes for the millionth time that day. Oliver leaned towards me, putting an arm behind my back and pulling me closer to him. Then he kissed me. It was the kiss I had remembered from L.A. The one that made me fall in love with him in the first place. I felt my knees get weak. Throwing my arms around his neck, I ran my hands through his hair and pushed my tongue into his mouth. It was so nice to remember what love felt like. When we pulled apart, both of us had huge smiles on our faces. This is how it used to be.

"I gotta pick Maddox up at daycare, you want to come?" Oliver asked me.

"What about Brooklyn? If you love me, what are you going to tell her?" I asked, not even answering his question.

"I don't know Emma. Look, I do love you, but I don't think I can just walk away like that, walk away from my son and his mother," he said.

"You mean you're going to stay with her? Even after that? After what you just told me?" I asked, tears forming once again.

"I don't know what else I can do," he said, sighing.

"Leave her! Come and be with me and Danica," I said. "You can still see Maddox! You don't have to stay with someone you don't love."

"Emma, I can't do this right now. I have to go get him. Can you come by my apartment later so we can talk some more?" he asked.

"I guess so. Oliver, you need to tell Brooklyn about us. About what happened last year," I said before turning around and walking away.

_Can you feel me breathe  
Can you feel the heart that's beating  
I'm sick and tired of feeling  
The candle burn inside me _

When I got back home, Jay wouldn't talk to me. He kissed Danica goodbye, hugged her, and then left. I thought I saw a tear in his eye, but maybe I was just imagining it. I feel bad doing this to him. And I know Dani loves spending time with him, but I think it's better that I ended it sooner rather than later.

I didn't want Jay to feel like he was Danica's father; because he's not. I know that I'm not going to have her real dad be in her life, but I wanted Oliver to be her father figure. He's been with her since she was born, and he only missed out on a month and a half. I'm doing the right thing; aren't I?

But then something occurred to me. What if Oliver doesn't come back to me? The kiss we shared made me fall for him in an instant. But what if he chooses to stay with Brooklyn out of loyalty? What am I thinking? I can't afford to let my life revolve around 'what if.' I made the right decision. I can't play house with Jay when I want Oliver to be the one that's there. And it's not fair to Danica to have all these people in her life come and go. So I ended it before she was old enough to remember.

I waited as long as I could before I headed over to Oliver's apartment. That ended up being only about a half hour. I put Danica in her car seat and went to his place. He let me in on the first knock, and I set Dani down in the playpen with Maddox before running over to Oliver and kissing him. He showed me the apartment, ending the tour in his bedroom. We sat on the bed across from each other, talking.

"So, that guy that you kissed the other day. Was he Dani's father?" he asked me. I shook my head. "So, what? You used him to make me jealous?"

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied.

"Does he know that?"

"Yep. He's just a friend," I assured him.

"So, which one is the guy you told me about? I forget his name…" he trailed off.

"You wouldn't know him; he doesn't go to our school anymore," I told Oliver.

"Have you told him about his daughter?" he asked.

"No. I can't, it's complicated."

"The guy has a right to know that he has a child. Why can't you just tell him? It doesn't mean that he has to be a part of her life. That's what I'm here for." He flashed me that gorgeous smile of his. I was just about to answer him when the phone rang. Oliver got up and went into the kitchen to answer it.

"That was Brooklyn. She's coming over. You better go," he said when he came back into the room.

"What?" I asked. "But I just got here!" I pouted and tried to kiss him but he pulled away.

"I have to do this on my own okay? I'll call you later." He kissed me on the cheek and led me back to the small living room.

"You're going to tell her about us?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess I'll have to," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Hurry! I don't want her to catch you here. I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

"Fine. I'll talk to you later then," I said, picking Dani up and resting her on my hip.

"Oh wait! You were just about to tell me why you haven't told her father about her," he said. I was hoping he would have forgotten about it.

"I can't tell him because…" I trailed off.

"Because why? Just tell me!" he practically begged.

"Because he's marrying my best friend!"

**A/N: There you have it: I finally revealed the father. Well, technically I didn't, but I'm sure you guys get the idea. Just about everybody guessed it already anyway! And Libby: you figured out a bunch of stuff in your review for chapter 4! Thanks to all my reviewers…I love getting the reviews! The song is "Last Night" by Ryan Cabrera, and he owns it. The reason I didn't put any lyrics at the end this time is because this is only half of the thing; I'll finish it off next chapter, ending it with the rest of the song. I have to admit that I watched that Disney movie Twitches with Tia and Tamara Mowry and Toby was in it…he was a random trick or treater person lol. And to fluffymellow: it was a new episode of ER that Sean was on…the newest one on last Thursday. **


	14. Last Night Part 2

**Chapter Fourteen: Last Night (Part Two)**

_Do you believe that things can change  
Do you believe they stay the same  
'Cause I don't need your light to light my way  
I don't need it I'm wide awake_

When I got home, I saw that familiar red-orange Civic parked outside my house. I went inside and found my parents and Jack watching some movie.

"Is Jay here?" I asked. "I saw his car outside."

"He's waiting for you in your room," my dad told me before turning back to the movie. Oh great. I really hope he's not here to try and convince me to change my mind. I slowly walked down to my room and saw Jay sitting on my bed, his head in his hands.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, sitting next to him. "I hope you're not going to try and make me change my mind," I said. "Because I won't."

"No, Emma, I didn't. This isn't about you," he said, looking up at me. I could tell right away that he had been crying.

"What is it? Is this about Danica? That you won't be able to see her? Because you can visit her whenever you want. You just don't need to raise her," I explained.

"No, I won't be able to visit her. I know what I have to do. I came to say goodbye to her. And to you I guess," he said.

"What? Goodbye?" I was really confused.

"I'm leaving tonight Emma. I'm moving to Montreal. My stuff's all packed in the car," he explained.

"Montreal? Why Jay?" I felt the sudden urge to cry. Jay has become one of my closest friends in just these two weeks.

"There's something I never told you Emma. After you left for L.A., Alex found out she was pregnant. And the baby was mine," he confessed. My eyes got wide and I stared at him in disbelief.

"You have a baby?" I asked.

"I was so close to having a daughter. She would have been beautiful. But something went wrong. Alex miscarried at twenty-three weeks. I realized when I started taking care of Danica, I was letting her replace the daughter that I lost. And I can't let that happen anymore. Alex needs me, so I'm moving to Montreal to be with her. I love you Emma, and I love Danica, but this isn't my place anymore. I have to go."

He finished his story and I realized that I was crying. I realized how lucky I was to have my daughter in my life. Without a word, I handed Dani over to Jay. He held her close to him and let a few tears fall onto her cheek. After wiping them off, he hugged her, and then kissed her on the forehead. I watched as he held her until she fell asleep. He placed her in her crib.

"Goodbye baby, I love you so much." He turned to me and hugged me. Then he kissed me on the forehead, just at he had done to Danica. "Take care of yourself, okay? Can you promise me that?" I nodded my head.

"Goodbye Jay."

"Bye Emma." He turned to leave, but I wasn't ready to let go.

"Wait!" I called. "Just stay awhile longer. Please," I nearly begged him. Without saying a word, he lay down on my bed. I climbed next to him, laying my head on his chest, my tears soaking his shirt. I closed my eyes with Jay for the last time.

_Last night's the last time  
I'll shut my eyes_

When I woke up; he was gone. I guess I slept through the night, because when I opened my eyes, I could see sunlight gleaming in my window. There's no telling how long Jay stayed. He could have left right after I fell asleep, but I like to think he stayed the night and left before I woke up. There was no note, no nothing.

I was sad that he was gone; but at the same time, I was happy that he came to say goodbye. I'm glad he and Alex will help each other through their loss. He would have been a good father to that baby though. I just know it.

I got up and went through my photo albums that were on the bottom shelf of my bookcase. I found the picture I was looking for. It was a picture of Jay and Danica that I had taken after his first day watching her. I found an empty picture frame in a box that was under my bed. It was from a long time ago when I moved from my room upstairs down into the basement. I put the picture in the frame and set it up next to Dani's crib. So she would always remember her Uncle Jay.

Maybe I'll even take her to visit him in Montreal some time, who knows. I bet Jay would like that. I stared off into space, imagining Jay driving away from his life here and driving towards his new life in Montreal. I hope he's happy right now, wherever he is.

_I wanna leave my best side behind when I go  
I want you to know that last night's the last time I'll run and hide  
I wanna believe I lived my life on fire when I go  
I want you to know _

**A/N: There's the second half. Sorry that it's really short, but the first half was probably my longest chapter that I've written for this story. I decided to be nice and not wait for 10 reviews before I posted this…but I know some people will be mad at me because of how this chapter ended. I have written up to chapter eighteen so far…The song is "Last Night" by Ryan Cabrera, he owns it. sethsduck17: Craig doesn't go to their school anymore…Emma is in grade twelve now, so Craig has already graduated. knightsgurl: I loved your review…it was great! Jackie: no, she has no other friend getting married lol…that was funny though. WishinWell43: I know you said you don't like Jay sensitive…but love tends to do that to some people. I just like writing him that way. Well everyone, thanks for the reviews…I hope you'll keep reviewing; it means a lot to me. **


	15. The Calm Before The Storm

**Chapter Fifteen: The Calm Before The Storm **

_Hold me and tell me that everything's gonna be alright.  
And I'll tell you that everything's gonna be alright._

I couldn't wait for Oliver to call me. After Danica and I had breakfast, I dressed her and we drove over to his apartment. A million reasons ran through my mind as to why he didn't call me. Maybe he decided to stay with Brooklyn after all. Or maybe she was still there. Yeah, she probably slept over. When I pulled into the parking lot, I scanned the area for her car. I didn't see it, so Dani and I headed into the building and up to the second floor via elevator. I rang the doorbell and waited a minute. The door opened and Oliver was standing there in his boxers and a wife beater, rubbing his eyes.

"A bit early isn't it?" he asked as I walked past him and he shut the door behind me. He yawned and plopped down on the couch. I set Danica on the floor with a few toys and then sat down next to him.

"No, it's almost noon," I said, rolling my eyes. He smiled and put an arm around my shoulders. His face came closer to mine and he kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Sorry, this is the first time I've slept in since either of the babies were born," he explained.

"Meaning Maddox and Danica?" I asked. Hopefully he didn't have any other children. Except, of course, neither of them were his children either.

"Of course I mean them. Don't worry; I don't have any other kids I didn't tell you about. At least I don't think so," he joked. I shoved him playfully and changed my position, straddling his lap and facing him. I put my forehead to his; something we used to always do, and looked into his eyes.

"Did you tell her?" I asked. He groaned, meaning he probably didn't.

"Don't be mad at me…" I interrupted him.

"Oliver! You promised that you'd tell her!" I whined.

"I didn't know how!" he said. "She wasn't even over that long. We ate pizza, and then she brought Maddox home to bed. And what was I supposed to say? Oh, by the way, you know your best friend? Yeah, Emma, she's the one. I fell in love with her in L.A. and I never really loved you. But I still want to see Maddox. Have a nice night." He looked back into my eyes and gave me the puppy dog face.

"I'm the only one that's allowed to make that face!" I said, kissing him. "If you can't tell her, then I will," I said, climbing off of him and picking Danica up.

"No Emma, I don't want you to do that. I'll tell her when the time is right. Okay?" he looked into my eyes and I couldn't resist.

"Fine." I gave in and cuddled close to him. We watched Danica play on the floor, lying on her stomach.

"She's beautiful," Oliver remarked suddenly. "Looks just like her mom."

"That's so sweet," I said, pecking him on the cheek. "I'm so glad she doesn't look like her father at all. Except I did notice that her hair's getting a little curly."

"So her dad…" he trailed off.

"Craig," I said.

"Yeah, Craig. He doesn't know about her at all?" he asked. "How is that even possible?"

"He knows that I have a daughter. Thanks to Manny's big mouth! But he thinks Jay is the father," I explained.

"That guy you kissed?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah."

"And does Manny know?"

"No! She can't ever know. She'd open her big mouth and tell him. And besides, she'd hate me if she found out; even though they weren't together at the time. We've had a rocky friendship over the past few years. I don't want it to end over this," I said, sighing and laying down with my head in his lap. He played with my hair while we talked. I loved it when he did that.

"So let me get this straight. You and this Craig guy have sex, you find out you're pregnant, and you move away to California. Then, a year later, you return to Toronto, with a baby, and he doesn't figure out that it's his? Man, what a moron!" Oliver said, laughing. I laughed a little too, but it was forced. It wasn't really funny at all.

"And to top it all off, I find out that my best friend is marrying him."

"You know what? We need to have a fun day and forget about all this crap for awhile," Oliver suggested. He leaned down and kissed me. It only lasted for a split second, due to the awkward angle, but it was heaven. Every kiss from him was heaven to me. "We could just stay in bed all day…that would be fun," he said. I sat up and he kissed me again, this time shoving his tongue into my mouth. My mind flashed to that night, only a few days ago, at the ravine. The guy ripping off my clothes, forcing himself on me…

"I think we should go out somewhere," I said quickly, snapping out of my nightmare. "We can go to the park, have some lunch, I dunno."

"Okay, how about I pack us a picnic lunch to eat at the park?" Oliver asked.

"That would be perfect." I kissed him before he got up to start packing food. I picked Danica up off the floor and walked over to the little table, sitting down and watching him. He was done a few minutes later, and then we left, taking his car.

Once we got to the park, Oliver laid a blanket down with our food on top of it, and we sat, enjoying the warmth of the sun on our faces.

"It feels great to not have to hide from everyone," I said, smiling at Oliver. He was lying on his side, looking so sexy that I wanted to jump on him. He took Danica from me and she leaned against his chest. I watched as he wrapped an arm around her protectively and kissed her on the top of her head.

"I'm happy because you're happy," he said. I moved closer to him, and then lay down on my side across from him with Danica between us. She reached out and softly hit my face, laughing at this little game she was playing. We both lay there and watched as Dani's eyes began to close. Oliver laid her down with her head on resting on his arm and she slowly fell asleep.

"Guess we weren't the only ones who thought of having a picnic," I heard a familiar voice behind me. I rolled over and saw my parents and Jack.

"Oh hey!" I greeted them. I sat up and gave Jack a hug. I hadn't really seen him in a while. "Come sit down with us," I said, motioning to the blanket. My dad spread their blanket down next to ours to give us all more room. Oliver sat up and waited for an introduction. "Oh I forgot! This is Oliver," I told them. "Oliver, this is my mom, my dad, and my brother Jack." He shook all their hands, even Jack's.

"Nice to finally meet you," my mom said. "We've heard a lot about you."

"Mom, don't embarrass me," I said through gritted teeth.

"Well, I'm starving," Dad said, trying to change the subject. "Let's eat." I realized then that Oliver and I hadn't eaten either. We all brought our food out and started eating. Oliver now had Danica stretched out across his lap.

"Oh Emma, I forgot to tell you that you're dad and Joey are going out tonight. And I have to work an extra shift," my mom said between bites.

"I have to work! What am I supposed to do with Danica?" I asked.

"Don't worry. Craig and Manny offered to babysit Jack. And they're bringing Angela along. You can leave Dani with them." I was shocked.

"I am not leaving her with them," I said stubbornly. "I don't trust Manny with my baby; no matter how good of a friend she is. Three kids would be too much for her to handle." The truth was, I did trust her. But I didn't need my parents suspicious about Craig. It was him I was really worried about.

"Well, if you won't leave her, then you'll just have to stay home," my dad suggested. "Can't you find someone to cover your shift at work?"

"No, I can't. It's not like that at my work," I said, shaking my head.

"I can watch her," Oliver spoke up. All eyes were on him.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Of course!" he laughed. "I've had plenty of experience with her," he said.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well, now that that's settled, we better get going. I have to go pack some stuff for Danica and get ready for work." I looked at my watch; it was almost three and I had to be at work for five. Oliver stood up with Danica and I shoved all our extra food back in the basket and folded the blanket up.

"See you later guys!" my mom called as we walked away.

"It was nice meeting all of you!" Oliver called over his shoulder. We walked back to the car and got in, driving over to my house.

"So you've met everyone in my family," I said. "How weird do you think they are?"

"They're really nice people. I like them a lot. Maybe one day they'll be part of my family too." I looked over at him and he winked. We walked into my house and down in the bedroom. I placed Dani in her crib for a few minutes while I threw diapers, wipes, clothes, bottles, and a few toys into a bag. Oliver lay on my bed watching me.

When I was finished, I plopped down onto my bed and rolled close to him. He smelled so good. I pretended to close my eyes, but then quickly climbed on top of him and started kissing him. Within seconds, we were rolling around, making out, and exploring each other's bodies with our hands. Without thinking, I pulled my shirt off and his hands instinctively went for the clasp on my bra. My mind flew back to that guy ripping my bra off, and I immediately stopped.

"No, we can't do this with the baby in the room," I said. It was the first thing that came to mind.

"She's asleep," he said, looking into my eyes. "She's not gonna wake up or anything," he gave me that face again, and I almost gave in. But then I shook my head.

"Sorry, not today." I was about to put my shirt back on when he pulled me down and kissed me. It wasn't forceful at all, he was just playing around, but I took it the wrong way. "I said stop!" I yelled, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Emma I'm so sorry! I was only joking around!" he said, lightly pushing me off of him and helping me put my shirt back on.

"It's okay, really," I said, turning away.

"No, it's not okay. I want you to know that I would never force myself on you or anything." He looked deep into my eyes and kissed me on the forehead.

"I know," I said, quickly kissing him on the lips. "I really have to get going to work now. I just need you to bring me over to the apartment so I can get my car and drive to work."

"Sounds like a plan," he said, getting up, grabbing the diaper bag, and then picking Danica up. We left the house before Manny and Craig had a chance to show up. Oliver drove me back to his apartment. He waited outside while I got in my car. Before I had a chance to leave, he tapped on my window. I pushed the button and it rolled down. He kissed me tenderly. "I love you."

"I love you too Oliver," I said before pulling out and heading off to work.

_'Cause it's you that can break me and keep me on my back.  
'Cause it's you that can save me from falling into the black._

**A/N: Okay, I know, not an incredibly exciting chapter. The next one will be better…I promise. The lyrics are from the song "Into The Black" by Butch Walker and he owns it! R&R **


	16. The Storm

**Chapter Sixteen: The Storm **

_Trade yourself in for the perfect one  
No one needs to know that you feel you've been ruined  
Trade yourself in for diamond eyes  
Watch the stars collide as you're lifted from your burden_

When will I be able to stop this? I don't like being here at Tric; don't like what I do here. But I need the money. If someone could give me a job where I'd make four hundred dollars in one night, then I'm all ears. But that's not going to happen.

Mark assigned me to one of the private rooms. I liked it better that way. I was never too comfortable dancing on stage in front of a bunch of men. They were like animals. And I didn't like myself exposed to that. Of course, I can't go against what Mark says or he'll call the cops on me. And I can't support my daughter from jail.

After I danced for about six guys, I still had an hour left until I could go home. And wouldn't you know, Mark wanted me to dance on stage. I couldn't say no, so I reluctantly got into the outfit that I wore for stage dancing. Complete with a mask. It was a mask that only covered my eyes, and had sky blue feathers on it. My outfit matched the mask. I nervously stood behind the curtain, waiting for my cue.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Mark called from the stage. Ladies? Gross. "I would like to announce the person you have all been waiting for. Here she is: the goddess of our stage. The one and only Sky!" he yelled. I heart people cheering and the music came on. I ran on stage like I was supposed to and started dancing to the song. I tried not to focus on the guys, but I was supposed to go up to them and smile, waiting for tips. I did as I had been taught.

"She is hot! I like this embracing a bachelor's lifestyle again." I heard a familiar voice. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Still dancing and pulling my clothes off, I strained to hear more of the conversation.

"She looks like she's barely out of high school," another, even more familiar voice said. They both came from somewhere on my left. I felt someone grab my leg and reach up to put a tip in the top of my underwear.

"For your troubles," the first familiar voice said. I turned and looked. This cannot be happening. I forced a smile, then ran off the stage.

"I think you scared her off Joey."

"What are you doing?" Mark yelled as I ran into him.

"I'm not dancing up there anymore!" I hissed. I tried to walk past him but he grabbed my arms and wouldn't let me leave.

"Yes you are. You're going right back up there," he spat into my ear.

"My father is here! And his best friend!" I said in a loud whisper.

"I don't care. Go backstage and change into your black outfit and mask; it's sexier anyway. Don't even think about leaving; you know what I can do to you. I expect payment tomorrow before your shift for this little stunt you pulled." He squeezed my arm hard before letting me go. I ran off backstage to change, holding back all my tears.

"Sorry for the delay!" I heard Mark yell from the stage. "Sky is backstage changing and will be out momentarily." There was more cheering and Mark went backstage. "Are you dressed?" he asked. I nodded my head and slowly walked toward the curtain once more.

This time he had me wearing a sexy black outfit that would be off in a few minutes, complete with a black thong. The music started again. This time it was "Fantasy" by Ludacris. Slow songs were always worse. I had to take my clothes off slower and dance even more provocatively, tempting more men.

As soon as I came out on stage and started dancing, guys were whistling left and right. I heard Joey calling to me to give me more tips, and I had to go over. It was the worst thing I'd ever been through. I'm so thankful that my dad wasn't as into it as Joey was. The worst part of the night was when I had to take my bra off. Joey was whistling along with everyone else, and my dad was looking at me. It took all I had not to cover my chest and run offstage again. I couldn't help crying either. Most of my tears were soaked up by the mask, but a few rolled down my cheeks. My breasts and butt were exposed to everyone there, including my own father and Joey. When the song was over, I fled the stage and locked myself in my dressing room, leaving the cheering behind.

I quickly changed into my jeans and t-shirt. I checked outside and saw my dad and Joey leaving. I decided to wait a half hour before I left. I wanted to make sure they were long gone. Once the time passed, I grabbed my purse and ran from the club, making it out without seeing Mark. As I approached the employee parking lot, I could make out a figure leaning against my car. I was unsure if I should keep going without one of the guards to walk me, but I didn't want to go back in there and risk talking to Mark. He might make me pay him now instead of later. I took a deep breath and kept walking. As I got closer to the car, I wished that I had someone with me. There, leaning against my car, puffing on a cigarette, was Craig Manning.

_Deal with me  
Don't even think about leaving yet  
I'm not a part of some false regret  
Even though I believe in fables  
Come reset  
A part of life that you'd soon forget  
And maybe think about who you hurt  
In the process_

"Emma, we need to talk," he said after I threw my purse in the car, ignoring him.

"Since when do you smoke?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. I didn't want to talk to him at all.

"Since I found out you had a kid." His answer silenced me. I watched as he threw the cigarette onto the asphalt and ground it down with his shoe.

"What do you want to talk about anyway?" I asked.

"For starters, why do you work here?" he asked.

"It's the only way to support my daughter Craig. I have medical bills to pay on top of clothes, diapers, formula, and food!"

"You shouldn't have to work somewhere like this. I want to help you," he said quietly.

"Why would you want to help? It's none of your business!" I yelled.

"It sure as hell is my business!" he yelled right back.

"How do you figure?"

"Because I'm her father!" he yelled. I grew silent again and let tears fall from my eyes. When I didn't say anything, he spoke again. "I'm right, aren't I?" he asked. "You never had sex with Jay! You lied to Manny about that and I can see why. Emma, I just want to help."

**-Flashback-**

_Sitting on the picnic table at the ravine, I cried my eyes out. Jay had just rejected me. Why would he do that? I heard someone come up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. I jumped. He sat down next to me and I turned to look, realizing that it was Craig. And he was crying._

"_You want to talk?" he asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "Come on, I'll take you home."_

"_No, I don't want to go home right now. I can't," I cried. "I guess we can talk over there." I pointed to the van. I didn't want to get with him or anything; I just knew it was the only spot at the ravine that was private. And I needed to talk to someone I could trust. Craig was a family friend; we'd known each other for a long time. _

"_Okay," Craig said. I led him over to the van. We climbed in and sat down across from each other. Once the door was closed and locked, Craig asked me what was wrong._

"_Jay just rejected me. I know what you're going to say; that he's trash. But he really isn't! And I think I'm starting to like him," I cried. _

"_I'm really sorry Emma," he said. "I know how you feel." I watched him wipe some tears from his face._

"_What happened?" I asked. _

"_I think Ashley broke up with me. She went to England and told me I couldn't go with her. She needs space from me. I didn't think I was such a horrible person," he said, cradling his head in his hands. _

"_You're not," I assured him, moving next to him and putting an arm around him. He leaned over and hugged me. When we broke apart, he stared into my eyes and I couldn't look away. Before I knew it, it was happening. I was kissing Craig. He pulled away from me. "I'm so sorry!" I said. I made a move to leave, but he gently pulled me back to him. Looking in my eyes once more, he kissed me. _

_Before long, his tongue went into my mouth and we were making out. In the middle of making out, he laid me back to the floor of the van. His hand reached down and started undoing the buttons on my jeans. _

"_Craig, we shouldn't be doing this," I said between kisses. He stopped and looked at me. He was kneeling with his knees on either side of my legs, his face less than an inch from mine._

"_Why not?" he asked. He kissed me again before speaking. "Jay doesn't want you and Ashley doesn't want me. I say screw 'em. We can do our own thing." He kissed me again, then looked in my eyes for an answer. _

"_You're right." I pulled Craig's pants off as he worked on mine. Clothes went flying as we continued to kiss. And then it happened. I had sex with Craig Manning. _

**-End Of Flashback-**

"I don't want your help," I said.

"Why not? Don't I have a right to help feed and clothe my daughter?" he asked, walking closer to me.

"She's not your daughter! You weren't there when she was born. You haven't been there at all and she doesn't even know you!" I cried.

"That's not my fault Emma. I didn't even know she existed until a few days ago. When I saw her at the store, I knew she was mine," he said.

"I don't need your help Craig. Even if I did; I wouldn't ask for it. Go be with Manny and mind your own business about how I raise my child." I got into my car before he could protest. I drove away, looking back only long enough to watch him light another cigarette.

_I know you can't feel a thing  
It hurts to feel anymore_

* * *

I was hoping to sneak past my parents and go straight down to my room. But they were in the living room sitting on the couch.

"How was work?" my mom asked.

"You don't want to know," I mumbled.

"What was that?" she asked. She obviously hadn't heard me.

"It was fine."

"Why don't you come sit down with us?" my dad asked. "I was just about to tell your mom about my night with Joey." I definitely did not want to hear about it. I already knew. But I sat down anyway, knowing that if I left, they'd be suspicious.

"Did you have fun?" my mom asked him.

"Not really, but I know Joey did. He took me to a strip club!" he said, laughing a little. "I guess he's enjoying single life." I looked over at my mom. She didn't look in the least bit worried about her husband watching women strip. She knew he would never leave her or cheat on her or anything. "So anyway, right when we were going to leave, the owner announces that some girl is coming onstage. Her name was Sky I think. Christine, she looked like she was barely out of high school!" he complained.

"That's disgusting. Who would let their child do that?" my mom asked. I fought back tears. If they ever knew they were talking about their own daughter, they'd die.

"Yeah. She danced around, pulling off her clothes. Joey gave her a tip and then she ran from the stage. I don't think she wanted to do it. The owner made her change her clothes into something even more revealing, and finish dancing. I swear I could have seen her crying. The poor girl. It looked like he was forcing her to do it," he finished.

"That's terrible. At least we can be glad that our daughter isn't like that!" my mom said, smiling and looking over at me.

"I'm gonna go to bed," I said. I got up and ran down to my room, letting my tears flow freely. If only they knew. They'd hate me. I looked into Danica's empty crib and almost panicked, before realizing that she was at Oliver's. Flopping on my bed, and burying my head into my pillows, I continued to cry. What am I going to do about my job? And what am I going to do about Craig?

_You see me  
And you know I am not the same  
Can't pretend to just fake a smile  
Cause you know I feel every ounce of  
Pain combined  
With the loss of a youthful mind  
You need to look at what you've become  
And try to figure out where you came from_

**A/N: I know that Jay didn't reject Emma the same day as Ashley left for England, but for this story, I'm pretending that's when it happened**. **It fits better with my idea of how they were both at the ravine on the same night. The song is "Trade Yourself In" by Shinedown and they own it. I didn't get nearly as many reviews as I would have liked on the last chapter, but I figured I'd post this one. **


	17. Remains Of Summer Memories

**Chapter Seventeen: Remains Of Summer Memories **

_The remains of what's left of our past  
__Of a future yet to come  
__Of the battles that we've lost  
__And the fights that we have won_

After crying myself to sleep the night before, I woke up with a headache. I decided not to go to work tonight; I just can't deal with that right now. I quickly threw on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt over my tank top and put some flip flops on. I ran upstairs to find an empty house and a note on the refrigerator.

_Emma: Went to church; didn't want to wake you. We'll be home around eleven. Love Dad._

I flipped the note over and wrote on the back of it.

_I'll be out for the day, home around seven. Love Emma._

I stuck the note back on the fridge and left the house. I headed over to Oliver's. I'd only been away for one night and I already missed him. It was also the first time I hadn't been with Danica for the night since she was born. I rushed up to the door and banged on it frantically. Oliver opened it, his hair messy, and yawned. The first thing I did was kiss him. He pulled back, looking surprised, and for the first time, I looked over his shoulder, into the apartment. Brooklyn was sitting on the couch, Maddox in her lap, glaring at me. They were all in pajamas.

"What the hell?" she asked, standing up and looking to Oliver for an explanation. He didn't say anything, so she pushed past him, shoved me in the shoulder, and stormed off.

"Wait!" he yelled, running after her. I sighed and went into the apartment, finding Danica asleep in the playpen. Plopping on the couch, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Oliver came back a minute later and closed the door. He sat down next to me and held my hand in his.

"So I'm guessing you never told her," I said without opening my eyes.

"You guessed right," he said, sighing.

"What did she say just now?" I asked him.

"Nothing really, she just kinda spat at me and drove off," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well…at least she knows now…kinda."

"I guess," Oliver said, getting up off the couch.

"Did…she stay over last night?" I asked him, opening an eye to look in his direction.

"Yes, but before you get mad, nothing happened. I asked her over to tell her…and it never happened. I just couldn't bring myself to do it." He walked into the kitchen, poured us glasses of milk, and set mine down on the coffee table.

"I'll have to talk to her later. I need to explain myself. She's my only friend that I can relate to. I don't want her to hate me," I groaned.

"For now, let's put this behind us. I was going to ask you why you rushed over here and started banging on the door?" he asked.

"I had a really bad night last night. And I missed Dani," I said, stretching out and shoving a pillow under my head.

"What happened?" Oliver asked, leaning over the back of the couch, taking a sip of his milk.

"Craig stopped by work last night."

"Craig? As in Dani's father?" he asked.

"The one and only." I closed my eyes once again.

"He stopped by here last night."

"WHAT?" I yelled, flying up into a sitting position. "When?"

"It must have been before he went to your work. I guess he went to your house and your parents said you were at work, and told him where I lived because he was asking about Danica. And he came here," Oliver explained.

"What did you do?" I asked, still in shock.

"Well, basically he yelled in my face about wanting to see his daughter, and I told him I didn't know what he was talking about. It all ended with him storming off and me slamming the door, resulting in Maddox and Danica crying. But he did slip in there that you worked at Tric…" he trailed off, looking me in the eye. "Is that true?" I looked down at my hands and sighed.

"Yeah."

"You're just a waitress right? Or a bartender?" Before I knew it, tears were pouring from my eyes, soaking my cheeks. Oliver came around the couch and sat down next to me, putting an arm around me.

"I'm a dancer," I sobbed. "A stripper."

"Emma! Why would you do that to yourself?" he asked. Now he was the one in shock.

"It was the only way I could make enough money to support Dani," I said, wiping a few tears away, only to have them replaced by more. "I have bills to pay, and all kinds of stuff I have to buy for her."

"You can stop that now. I'll help. I have a good job, and I'll help you find one that you like," he suggested.

"Oliver, I can't ask you to do that. You already have one child to support that isn't yours." I couldn't believe I said it. Maybe he wouldn't notice.

"What do you mean that isn't mine?" he asked, sounding a little mad. Okay, so he did notice.

"That came out wrong," I said. "I just meant that you already have a baby to support. It's not fair that I ask you to help with mine. It's the same problem I had with Jay. He wanted to by her all this stuff and he's not her father either." I was pretty much done crying, but my head hurt again.

"Have you thought about having her actual father help you then?" he asked. At least he left the thing that I accidentally said behind him. I guess he believe me.

"I can't do that. Craig is marrying Manny! She's always been in love with him and I'm not going to ruin this for her," I said, laying my head on Oliver's chest.

"Maybe she'd understand. They weren't together when it happened," he pointed out.

"I just can't risk losing Manny too. Brooklyn probably won't talk to me now."

"We'll think about that later. But back on the subject of your job, maybe we can go hunting for one today," he suggested.

"I can't leave my job, I just can't," I admitted, sighing.

"Why not?"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it okay?" I snapped at him. I was thinking about Mark and how he wouldn't let me leave. I guess I'd have to wait until I turned eighteen to even think about quitting.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. What do you say we both go lie down? I'm in need of a little nap. I didn't get much sleep last night." I was just about to agree when Danica started crying.

"You can go. I'll have to take a rain check though." I got up and picked Danica up from the playpen. "Hey honey, Mommy's here. I missed you so much," I whispered to her. I went to the fridge and got out one of her bottles I brought over the night before.

"Nah, I'll sleep later. My favorite baby girl is awake," he said, following me. He took the bottle and put it in the microwave. "Should I heat up some of that oatmeal she likes so much?" he asked.

"No, she should be fine with just a bottle for now," I told him. When it was done heating, I took the bottle out and began to feed her.

"Why don't we go out to breakfast when she's done?" Oliver suggested.

"Sure, sounds good to me."

"I'll go get dressed then," he said, leaving the room. By the time I finished feeding and burping Dani, Oliver was dressed, his hair styled into the mohawk that I loved, and ready to go. I changed Danica into her purple dress that Jay picked out, grabbed the baby bag and we were out the door. "Oh, by the way, I put Maddox's old infant car seat in my car so you don't have to keep switching out yours," Oliver told me as we walked to his car.

"That's sweet," I said, kissing him on the cheek. I put Danica into the car seat, buckled her in, then got in on the passenger side. We drove to The Dot and found a booth. They had no available high chairs, so I set Dani down in her car seat onto the bench seat next to me, and Oliver sat across from me.

We ate mostly in silence. Neither of us were having a very good weekend. By the time we were done eating, it was already almost lunch time; around noon. On the way back to the apartment, Danica fell asleep. Once inside, I put her back in the playpen.

"How about that nap?" I asked, smiling at Oliver. He nodded his head and we went into his bedroom. I slipped my flip flops off, pulled the blankets back, and plopped on the bed. I watched Oliver takes his shoes and then his shirt off. Then he climbed into bed next to me, covering us both with the blankets. I placed my head on his chest, closing my eyes. I tried to fall asleep while Oliver stroked my hair, but I just couldn't. "I can't sleep," I groaned.

"I can't either," he admitted.

"Well, I know why I can't sleep…why can't you?" I asked him.

"I was just…thinking."

"About what?"

"Okay, this might sound crazy, and I don't know how you'll react but…I was thinking that maybe you could move in here with me…" he trailed off. I sat up quickly, looking him in the eye.

"Are you serious?" I asked. "You'd really want me to?"

"Of course I would! Emma, I love you. Will you move in with me? You and Danica of course. She can have the other bedroom. And you wouldn't have to pay rent; my parents pay for that," he explained.

"I love you too," I said, kissing him. "And I'd love to move in here. But how will your parents react to this? Wasn't Brooklyn supposed to be moving in?" I asked.

"My parents won't care. They love you; you were like a daughter to them the whole time we were together in L.A. And they never really liked Brooklyn…" he trailed off. I kissed him again, extremely happy. Things are turning out great. I got Oliver back, and now we're going to be living together. Danica finally has the father that she deserves to have; he has always been there for her. Smiling, I jumped on top of him, and we began making out.

I started unbuttoning his jeans and slowly tugged them off, Oliver watching me the entire time. We were soon making out again, and I got hot, so I pulled my sweatshirt off, then my sweatpants. I was lying there on top of him, in my underwear and tank top, and I could feel him bulging through his boxers.

Smiling, I kissed him down his stomach and stopped when I got to the top of his boxers. Teasing him even more, I pulled his boxers off with my teeth. I could tell he was about to go crazy. I then took my own underwear off, followed by my tank top and my bra. Without any words, I lay down on top of him and kissed him, snaking my tongue into his mouth, with our naked bodies pressed firmly together. And then Danica started crying.

_The remains of summer memories spent so far away  
__Free from the fear or jealousy that plagues our lives today_

**A/N: Heh heh that's as far as they'll get for now. That's what happens when you have a baby lol. Tell me what you think. The song is "Remains of Summer Memories" by Rise Against and they own it. I know a few people are complaining about the lyrics and saying they don't like them, but it's just something that I decided to do for this story. I always pick songs that fit with how people are feeling or what's happening…please let me know in review if you do like them so that I actually know some people do. No matter what, I'm not going to stop it because I've already done it for seventeen chapters and that would be dumb. So anyway, review! **


	18. No Tomorrow

**Chapter Eighteen: No Tomorrow **

_I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take  
__When people run in circles its a very very  
__Mad world, mad world_

"I'll get her," Oliver offered. He stood up and put his boxers on before heading into the living room to get Danica. While he was gone, I threw my underwear and tank top back on. I jumped onto the bed just as he was coming back in the room with a bowl of warm oatmeal. I took her from him and held her in a sitting position while he fed her.

"Maybe we should get dressed and go over my house when she's done," I suggested, breaking the silence.

"Why?" he asked me, pausing with the spoon in midair.

"So I can break the news to my parents that I'm moving in. And start packing my stuff up," I said.

"We have all day to do that. Let's go later okay? I want to spend the day with you two," he said, finally putting the spoon in Dani's mouth.

"Fine," I sighed. "What are we going to do until then?" I asked him.

"I was planning on doing what we were doing earlier…" he trailed off.

"What?" I practically yelled. Then I changed my voice into a whisper as if Danica couldn't hear me. "You mean you _planned _for us to have sex?"

"Of course not Emma! Come on, that just happened. I _meant_ hanging around the apartment," he said, shocked that I would even accuse him of that.

"Sorry. Yeah I guess we can just hang out," I said, a little disappointed. I thought we'd at least do something fun. Not that I don't love just being with Oliver, because I do.

So that's all we did. Mainly, I watched him play with Danica. She never got tired enough to take another nap and leave us alone for awhile. But I never got tired of watching her and Oliver either. They were perfect together.

Jay was perfect with her too…why am I thinking about Jay all of a sudden? I didn't realize he had that big of an impression on me. I wonder what he's doing now…

"Hey!" I nearly shouted as an idea struck me. Oliver jumped a little and Danica looked like she was going to cry.

"What?" he asked.

"Why don't we bring Dani to visit her Uncle Jay," I suggested. "I know he'd love to see her." Oliver had a blank look on his face. Then he looked at his watch.

"We can't," he said, standing off the bed.

"Why not?" I asked, pouting.

"Because we have dinner reservations in an hour," he announced.

"Oh that's so sweet. What's the occasion?" I asked him, but all he did was smile.

"Anyway," he said, we need to get Danica dressed and then head over to your house to get something for you to wear," he said.

"Okay. I know just what she can wear," I said, jumping off the bed and rushing to the baby bag in the living room. I pulled out the purple dress that Jay bought for her. Maybe I could take a picture of her in it and send it to him. I brought the dress back into my room, along with a diaper and some wipes. I changed Dani's diaper and put the dress on her while Oliver got dressed. When I was done, I looked up and he was standing there in dark jeans, with a black, long sleeved, button down shirt on. "You look great," I told him, smiling. I picked my daughter up and stood up, walking up to him and kissing him lightly on the lips. He put his arm around me and we left the apartment. Getting in his car, we made our way to my house.

* * *

"I don't think anyone's home," I commented as we walked up the steps. Oliver was holding Danica. I told him I'd quickly change and come right back out, but he insisted on coming in with me. I opened the door and someone flipped the light on. 

"SURPRISE!" a bunch of people yelled. I stared in disbelief at the party in front of me. I looked at everyone's smiling faces, and then at the banner hanging from the ceiling. With everything that's happened lately, I had forgotten that today was my birthday. My 18th birthday. I looked over at Oliver and hugged him.

"Happy Birthday sweetheart," my mom and dad said, coming over to me and hugging me. Tears stung my cheeks but I quickly wiped them away.

"Thank you guys so much," I said.

"Don't thank us, thank Oliver. He planned all of this," Dad said, shaking Oliver's hand.

"Thank you," I whispered to him. I kissed him and then turned back to the party. Everyone I knew was there. I could see a few teachers from Degrassi that my dad had probably invited. Then I saw Joey, Craig, Angela, and Manny sitting on the couch, talking. My stomach flopped, but I gained the courage to stay. I saw Brooklyn leaning against the wall.

_All around me are familiar faces  
__Worn out places, worn out faces  
__Bright and early for the daily races  
__Going nowhere, going nowhere  
__Their tears are filling up their glasses  
__No expression, no expression  
__Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows  
__No tomorrow, no tomorrow_

"I'll be right back," I told Oliver. "I need to go talk to her." I took Danica from him and walked over to Brooklyn.

"Happy Birthday," she said quietly before looking away.

"Can we talk?" I asked her.

"I guess so." She looked down at the ground.

"Brooke, you are one of my best friends. I don't want this to ruin our friendship," I said, sighing. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"You stole my boyfriend!" she whispered. "He was cheating on me with you!"

"You know that's not how it all happened. Before I even knew you, I fell in love with Oliver back in L.A. He never told me about you or about Maddox." I then noticed that her son was standing next to her, holding onto her hand. "You even told me yourself that you weren't really in love with him. He's not even Mad's father!"

"I know!" she cried. "But I need him Emma. You don't understand. I know that he's in love with you, I can tell. But I can't support my baby without him."

"This isn't the way to get what you want," I said. "He needs to know the truth. And I have a feeling that he'll still want to help you out; no matter what. He does love you. I know that he'd do the right thing. Now matter who his real father is, Oliver will always be Maddox's dad," I finished. I felt like I was going to cry.

"I guess you're right," Brooklyn whispered. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thanks Emma, you really are a good friend. But let me tell him okay?" she asked.

"Of course. He's right over there. This is a good a time as any," I suggested. Brooklyn started to go towards Oliver. He looked a little confused when he saw that I was following her and smiling.

"Can I talk to you?" Brooke asked. He looked over her head at me, as if asking for permission. I nodded my head, signaling that he needed to.

"You guys can talk in my room," I suggested. They walked off. I turned around, finding myself face to face with Jay and Alex. "Hey guys!" I said. My face instantly brightened.

"Happy Birthday Emma," Jay said, hugging me. I hugged him back.

"Yeah, Happy Birthday," Alex echoed. She hugged me too, and it was a little weird. "So this is the little one that you told me about?" Alex asked Jay. He nodded. Danica wiggled in my arms. I handed her over to Jay.

"She's missed you," I told him quietly. He'd only been gone for two days, but I could tell he had missed her too. I also noticed that Alex had tears in her eyes, obviously thinking about the baby she lost.

"Nice dress," Jay commented. We both laughed a little.

"I thought you'd like it." I turned my head to see Craig standing a few feet away. He was motioning for me to come over. I couldn't see Manny anywhere. "Hey, do you want to play with her for a little while?" I asked Jay and Alex. They both nodded their heads and smiled. "Okay, I'll come back for her in a bit," I said and walked past them, over towards Craig.

"Emma, we need to talk," he said.

"Where's Manny?" I asked him.

"She went to the bathroom. Come on, we only have a few minutes," he dragged me into the kitchen. I pulled my hand away from his and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What do you want?" I asked him coldly. "I already told you that I didn't want you to have anything to do with my daughter."

"Please reconsider Em," he begged. "She's my daughter too!" he raised his voice a little. Then I noticed that he was staring, his mouth hanging open, looking at something behind me. Or should I say someone. I turned around and there was Manny, looking at us the same way.

"Manny," I whispered. She had tears in her eyes.

"Is that true Emma?" she asked. I didn't say anything. I couldn't. Of course it was true. Manny turned around and ran to the door, opening it and slamming it behind her as she left the house. The noise distracted everyone at the party, but only for a second. Then they were all talking and laughing. I turned back to Craig who was still staring at the door. Then, as if he woke up, he looked at me.

"I have to go. Think about it Emma. She's my daughter too." He left the house to find Manny. Just then I heard the basement door open and close. Brooklyn was standing there, her makeup mixed with tears running down her face. She held Maddox in her arms.

"Happy Birthday Emma," she said, and ran past me, leaving as well. This is a disaster. How could all this stuff happen to me on my birthday? Now my two best friends probably hate me. Come to think of it, Oliver will probably be mad at me too. It's my fault that he just found out Maddox wasn't really his son.

I walked over to the kitchen table and plopped down in a seat. Resting my head in my hands, I started to cry. It was the only thing that I could do. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. A familiar voice repeated the phrase I was sick of hearing. "Happy Birthday Emma." I looked up to the voice.

"Sean?"

_Children waiting for the day they feel good  
__Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday  
__And they feel the way that every child should  
__Sit and listen, sit and listen  
__Went to school and I was very nervous  
__No one knew me, no one knew me  
__Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson  
__Look right through me, look right through me_

**A/N: I'm gonna end it there! Hope it wasn't too boring or too short. A few things happened that will remain unresolved for the moment. What do you guys think is going to happen next? Anyone surprised at Sean's sudden appearance? The song is "Mad World" by Gary Jules and he owns it…it's from Donnie Darko. The song is out of order as most of them tend to be now…some parts are better suited for the middle of the chapter…anywho…tell me what you think! And I'm only updating for my4 faithful reviewers because it seems that everyone else just take forever or something...the four are: EmmaJay2gether4ever8, Qtpye, TemporaryxInsanity, and of course, Jackie (I loved the long review girl)! You guys rock, thanks for reviewing. **


	19. Somewhere Only We Know

**Chapter Nineteen: Somewhere Only We Know **

_I walked across an empty land  
__I knew the pathway like the back of my hand  
__I felt the earth beneath my feet  
__Sat by the river and it made me complete  
__Oh simple thing, where have you gone?  
__I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
__So tell me when  
__You're gonna let me in  
__I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

He looked different. His hair was longer and curled a little. And I guess he was a little taller. But he was still Sean.

"You're back?" I asked in disbelief. I stood up and hugged him.

"Yeah, I am," he said as we pulled apart.

"It's been awhile," I commented. I hadn't seen him for almost two years.

"I heard you had a baby."

"I did," I said, nodding. The conversation between us was quick and meaningless. I had missed him, but I was completely over him. It was just weird having him back. "You want to see her?" I asked him. He nodded and I led him back into the living room, looking around for Jay and Alex. I spotted them on the couch. Alex was holding Dani and laughing. It was good to see her happy after what she had been through. Well, I guess it was. I was never friends with her, but I'm sure something like that had to be hard.

"Cameron?" Jay asked, standing up. "Dude! You're back?" They did some manly back pat type of hug.

"I'm back," Sean said, smiling uncomfortably. "Thought I'd finish my last year at DCS," he informed us. "Hey Alex," he added. She smiled in his direction but went back to playing with my daughter.

"Well, this is Danica," I said, motioning towards the baby.

"She's beautiful," Sean said.

"Yeah she is," Jay added. I looked up at him and he just smiled. Alex handed Dani to Sean. He bounced her in his arms and tickled her under her chin. Danica laughed and threw her arms up. After a minute more, Sean handed her to me. Alex was staring at her in my arms.

"You want to hold her again?" I asked. She nodded, so I gave Dani back to her. "I'll just be around if you need any help," I told her. I was about to find my parents when Jay stopped me.

"I never got to meet Oliver," he said. I had forgotten all about him! He was probably still down in my room. I sighed and dragged Jay along with me. I signaled for him to wait at the top of the stairs. I slowly walked down.

"Hey," I said, smiling at him. He was sitting on the edge of my bed, deep in thought. I could tell he had been crying. I just wanted to jump in his arms and tell him everything would be okay. But I couldn't. "Jay wants to meet you. Are you up for it?" I asked.

"Sure," he said, not really taking his eyes off the floor.

"Why don't you just stay here with me tonight?" I asked him.

"Okay," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, I'll go get Jay then," I said, turning around. I walked back upstairs and brought Jay down with me. When we got down, Oliver had a fake smile plastered on his face. "Um, Jay this is Oliver…Oliver, this is Jay," I introduced them to each other.

"Can I talk with him alone?" Jay asked. I shot a questioning look at him, but he just raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, I guess." I watched Jay grab my computer chair, and sit in it backwards before I went up the stairs once again, shutting my bedroom door behind me. What an interesting birthday party. Could anything else go wrong? Walking back into the living room, I noticed that everyone was waiting around for me.

"Emma, we're going to do cake now," my mom said as she walked up to me.

"Oliver and Jay are downstairs, I'll go get them," I said, about to return to my room.

"I'll do it honey," my dad said, coming up behind my mom.

"Okay." I shrugged.

"Oh and before I forget, I told Jay and Alex that they could spend the night. I didn't see the sense in them driving back to Montreal so late," she said.

"Okay, but I told Oliver he could stay. He got some bad news and he's upset," I told her. "He can stay with me in my room," I added. Then she gave me the look. "Mom! I already have a baby; I'm not going to make the same mistake again."

"Fine. I'll make up the pullout couch in here for Jay and Alex." Just as we finished our discussion, my dad, Jay, and Oliver appeared in the living room. Everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' to me and we had some cake. I kept stealing glances at Oliver. He looked terrible. He wouldn't smile or anything. Then I turned my attention to Alex. She looked so happy with Danica. I was getting a little worried. I didn't want her to get attached like Jay had. I felt bad that she lost her daughter, but she couldn't have mine.

"I have to put her to bed now," I told Alex as I approached her. She frowned but held Dani out to me.

"Hey Em, I'll help you," Jay said, coming up behind me. I looked over at Oliver and he shrugged his shoulders, then flopped down on the couch on the opposite end from Alex. My mom raised her eyebrow at him but then she shot me a questioning glance. I shook my head at her.

"Um sure Jay," I told him. He followed me down to my room. I let him change her diaper and put her in her pajamas. He kissed her goodnight and then so did I. After that, I laid her down in her crib and stroked her cheek until she slowly closed her eyes. I waited until I was sure she was asleep, and then backed away from the crib. I turned around and walked straight into Jay's lips.

I didn't actually walk into them of course. But he was waiting right behind me and he just attacked me really.

"Jay!" I yelled as I pulled away from him. I remembered Danica was asleep and I lowered my voice to a loud whisper. "Why would you do that?"

"Sorry," he said, looking down at the ground. "I just thought that maybe…" he trailed off.

"Maybe what? I'm with Oliver and you know that. And I thought you were with Alex!" I hissed.

"I'm not," he said, looking up at me and sighing.

"What happened?" I asked, suddenly concerned. He looked upset and I didn't like seeing him that way.

"I got to Montreal and found out that she moved on. I wasn't too upset about that because I'm not in love with her anymore. I thought I was doing the right thing, but she just got mad at me. She said that I abandoned her when she lost the baby and she found someone else to turn to. I guess I did abandon her, but I didn't mean to. I was caught up in loving you. And I guess I still am," he explained.

"Jay, we've been over this. You need to move on. I'm not the person for you," I told him.

"I know you don't think so, but I still do. I don't want to ruin things between you and Oliver, so I'll try to leave you alone. But I'm coming back here. I obviously can't stay in Montreal with Alex. I'm going to drive her back tomorrow morning and then bring all of my stuff back to my new apartment. My mom bought it for me because my dad is already renting out my room. He's short on cash."

"You mean your real mom?" I asked him. I knew that Jay lived with his dad and his step mother in a little house, but he had never let me see it.

"Yeah. I ran into her in Montreal. I didn't even know she lived there. All I ever got from her was the occasional phone call. I recognized her right away from pictures. I even got to meet her wonderful new husband who is rich. He's gonna pay for all the bills on the apartment, including the rent. It's pretty nice," he told me.

"Was it weird seeing her after so long?" I asked him. "I know what it's like. When I met my biological dad for the first time, I didn't know what to do."

"It was weird. I met their daughter and their son, Elizabeth and Michael. It's like they're a perfect little family, and she forgot all about me," he said, sighing. "But I don't need them. Well, except for the money."

"I'm sorry that you feel like she forgot about you," I told him. "I'm sure she really didn't."

"Don't worry about it Emma. We better get back to the party." He walked up the stairs without saying anything else.

_I came across a fallen tree  
__I felt the branches of it looking at me  
__Is this the place we used to love?  
__Is this the place that we've been dreaming of?_

After taking one last look at Danica, I followed him into the kitchen where my parents were waiting for me.

"Time for presents!" my dad said cheerily. I smiled at him and we all went into the living room. I got some nice gifts from everyone. When I was finished opening all of them, everyone started to leave. Oliver said he was tired and went down in my room. Alex, Jay, and Sean helped me and my parents clean up the living room.

"Sean, do you have somewhere to go tonight?" my mom asked him.

"Well…uh…while I was gone, Ellie moved back with her mom and our apartment was sold. So I guess not," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You're welcome to stay here. You'd have to sleep on the floor in here though," she told him.

"Thanks, that would be great," Sean replied.

"Don't bother; he can sleep on the bed with Alex. I'm not going to," Jay scoffed.

"I think that's our cue," Dad said. I said goodnight to my parents and my friends, then went downstairs and left them all to figure out their sleeping arrangements. I changed into my pajamas and climbed under the covers, cuddling up next to Oliver.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. Silence followed for a few minutes.

"He's not really my son," he whispered. From the way his body was moving, I could tell he was crying.

"But he is," I argued. "You've raised him so you're his father."

"I can't believe Brooklyn lied to me. She cheated on me with some stupid guy!" he said, raising his voice a little.

"He raped her Oliver. She didn't know what else to do." I wasn't sure why I was defending her. I guess I empathized because I knew what it felt like to be raped.

"She didn't tell me that," he said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "I didn't know…" he trailed off.

"She also still wants you to be in his life," I told him.

"She didn't get a chance to say all of that. I freaked out on her and started yelling. I need to call her first thing tomorrow and get it all sorted out. But on a different note, I talked to Jay tonight."

"What did he have to say?" I asked him. Oliver didn't answer me for a minute. I think he was trying to gain his composure or something.

"Emma, why didn't you tell me you were raped?" he whispered.

My bedroom fell silent as I tried not to cry.

_And if you have a minute why don't we go  
__Talk about it somewhere only we know  
__This can't be the end of everything  
__So why don't we go  
__Somewhere only we know  
__Somewhere only we know _

**A/N: The song is "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane and they own it. The part where it's talking about 'the place we used to love,' I'm talking about the place in Oliver and Emma's relationship from L.A. Like the 'place' in the relationship when everything was perfect. The next chapter will jump a week…this one took place Sunday and the next one will be the Saturday after that. WishinWell43: Sorry about that...you are officially added to the loyal reviewers list! lol...dear lord I didn't even think about the Manny Manning thing...if they do get married (it's not decided yet) when saying the first and last name, I'll have to say Manuela Manning...it's not as bad lol. Thanks about what you said about the lyrics...I like them and I'm gonna keep them. And I'll tell ya, there probably won't be much shit flipping from Sean...I have other plans for him. Thanks for your awesome reviews! TemporaryxInsanity:Brooklyn was crying because of her discussion with Oliver...she was telling him that Maddox wasn't really his son...and as he says in this chapter...he freaked out on her and started yelling at her and stuff.That's why she was crying. Well guys, review! Qtpye: I understand about you taking long to review...don't worry about it! You're one of the few people who always reviews anyway. **


	20. Next Contestant

**Chapter Twenty: Next Contestant**

_I judge by what she's wearing  
__Just how many heads I'm tearing  
__Off of assholes coming on to her  
__Each night seems like it's getting worse  
__And I wish she'd take the night off  
__So I don't have to fight off  
__Every asshole coming on to her  
__It happens every night she works_

Last Sunday night I told Oliver everything. He was a little angry with me for not telling him earlier, but he was really supportive. He saw Brooklyn at school on Monday and somehow convinced her to meet him after school. They worked out their differences. Oliver is going to be watching Maddox whenever he can, but Brooklyn said he can also take him on random days to hang out.

Danica went to her new daycare on Monday too. It's at this lady's house and it's really nice. The name of the woman who takes care of her is Rachel. She's very sweet and professional at the same time, and the price isn't too bad. From what I hear so far, Danica loves it and barely ever cries. It helps me a lot to know that she's in good hands.

Jay came to my house twice this week. He stops by and visits Dani for a little while. I haven't told my parents about moving in with Oliver yet. I haven't really had a chance. Somehow, Oliver convinced me to tell them tonight.

Manny hasn't talked to me still, and Craig hasn't even come near me. I think he's still trying to convince her to come back to him. I heard that she broke up with him and gave him his ring back. There's no doubt in my mind that she'll take him back really soon. She has no reason to break up with him anyway. Life is so stressful sometimes.

Now it's Saturday. I've been dreading it all week. Oliver told me that I needed to quit Tric, and I agree with him. I just don't know how. I didn't admit this to him, but I'm afraid of what Mark will do. He's a very forceful person. He probably won't let me quite, even though I am eighteen now. My dad is watching Danica because my mom is at work. They both think that Oliver and I are going out on a date.

A knock on my bedroom door pulled me out of my thoughts. Before I even answered, I could hear someone coming down the stairs. My stomach started knotting together. I knew it was Oliver and he was ready to go. I had to face Mark. I got up from my bed and hugged him, pulling him close to me. He kissed me on the top of my head and grasped my hand, leading me up the stairs.

We got into his car and drove to Tric in silence. At first, I didn't even get out of the car. I just sat there, staring at the building. Tears were welling up behind my eyes. I felt like I couldn't move. My heart was beating so hard that I thought it might jump out of my chest and run away.

Oliver put his arm around me and drew me close to him. I started crying into his shirt. I knew he wouldn't let me give up though. He waited patiently while I got all my tears out, soaking his shirt. When I sat back up, he took it off, wearing only his wife beater that was underneath.

I was finally ready. I got out of the car, and Oliver followed me. I swallowed hard, getting rid of the lump in my throat. This is it. It's all or nothing. We walked into Tric and people were staring at us. They knew who I was, but they'd never seen me with a guy. And there was Mark. He looked mad.

_They think they'll get inside her  
__With every drink they buy her  
__As they all try coming on to her  
__This time somebody's getting hurt_

"Who's this freak?" he said, walking up to us. Oliver pulled me closer to him, his arm around my waist.

"He's my boyfriend," I said through clenched teeth.

"You can't be bringing him in here. It's bad for business. You have to look single," he said, grinning.

"I'm here to tell you that I quit," I said, narrowing my eyes. Oliver stayed silent, letting me do what I needed.

"Oh no you're not!" Mark shot back. "I'll just…"

"What?" I interrupted him. "What will you do? I'm eighteen so you can't pull the age card with me."

"You're not leaving. I have a million ways to bring you down." He lunged forward and grabbed my arm, pulling me away from Oliver.

_Here comes the next contestant_

"Don't touch her!" he yelled, ready to punch Mark in the face. But Mark held his hand up.

"You lay one finger on me and I'll have you arrested pretty boy. You're not so tough with you're little mohawk and pathetic tattoos," Mark spat, gripping my arm harder. I cried out in pain and Oliver lunged forward.

"Oliver don't!" I yelled. Mark pulled me in front of him, blocking Oliver.

"Security!" he yelled. Two big men appeared at his sides instantly. "See this gentleman out." He told them. They grabbed onto Oliver's arms, but he ripped away from them.

"Emma, let's go," he said.

"I can't." Tears were streaming down my face. Everyone was staring. There was no way out. "Oliver just go," I said. I hung my head down. Then I felt Mark's hand grab onto my butt. He kissed me on the lips, taunting Oliver. I pulled away, but then he pulled me so I was facing him and did it again, this time putting his tongue in my mouth. He stared at Oliver the entire time he was doing it.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
__Is that your hand?  
__I wish you'd do it again  
__I'll watch you leave her limping  
__There goes the next contestant_

Before he had a chance to go after Mark again, the guards got a good hold on him and started pulling him to the door.

"Emma I'll wait outside for you!" he yelled before they shoved him outside and locked the door.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, don't worry!" Mark yelled to the crowd that was still staring. "I have some business to attend to with Sky here, and then she'll be giving the performance of a life time!" he yelled. Everyone started cheering. "As a special treat, she will be taking her thong off as well! And I will allow some of you lucky people to join her on stage!"

He pulled me away and dragged me up into his room. I cried and cried, my head starting to pound. He threw me on his bed and got on top of me, whispering in my ear.

"You've got a price to pay," he hissed. He wiped the tears from my cheeks and kissed me. The only thing I could do to get through it was think about Oliver, and how he'd be there when I left. I just wouldn't come back after tonight. I shouldn't have even come tonight.

After Mark made me go down on him and have sex with him, he told me to take a shower. I obeyed, and when I came out of his bathroom, he was waiting for me. He shoved some clothes into my arms and told me to change. He didn't give me any privacy either. I changed into the clothes and followed him back downstairs.

As soon as I was onstage, people were cheering. I stripped my clothes off, and Mark was walking around, giving certain people tickets to go onstage. He even gave some to women. I was humiliated. It was worse than last Saturday when my dad and Joey were here.

People swarmed the stage, rubbing their bodies up against me and touching me. I just stood there and cried. Someone slapped me on my butt and I cried out in pain. They all thought it was funny. All of them started to pinch me and slap me. I got bruises in places that I never imagined. I watched as one man grabbed onto my breasts and tried to put his mouth to one of them. I pulled myself away, but was yelled at by Mark to let them do what they wanted.

That was when some guy started taking his clothes off. He pulled me away from people and tried to lay me down on the stage. I felt like I was in a nightmare. This guy was going to rape me right in front of everyone. The other people on the stage didn't like that, and pushed me back. I was at least grateful for that. I turned and looked over my shoulder at the doors, and I could see Oliver screaming and trying to break them down.

_I'm hating what she's wearing  
__Everybody here keeps staring  
__Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve  
__This time somebody's getting hurt_

The guards went outside, probably to beat him up. My attention was diverted from the doors when the same guy, with his pants around his ankles, was behind me. I felt him grab onto me and I knew it was over. I closed my eyes and braced myself, but then I heard someone yell out. The guy was punched in the face and fell. Everyone wanted a piece of me. They wanted it so much that they all started beating each other up to get it.

That's when I slipped away, off the stage, and into the back room. It was even too out of hand for Mark, because I heard him yelling for the guards. Everyone was kicked out. I heard Mark say that I'd be there tomorrow night and they could have some fun. Like hell I would.

I got dressed and waited a half hour before leaving the room. Mark and the two guards were the only people there. Even all of the dancers were gone.

"Come on, we'll walk you out," he said, grabbing onto my arm. I winced, but followed his lead. The bodyguards stood on either side of us. As we approached the car, I could see Oliver standing and waiting. And he wasn't alone. I also spotted Jay, Craig, Sean, and even Spinner. My eyes widened. Mark grabbed my butt again and kissed me.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
__Is that your hand?  
__I wish you'd do it again  
__I'll watch you leave here limping  
__I wish you'd do it again  
__Each night seems like it's getting worse  
__I wish you'd do it again  
__This time somebody's getting hurt_

The five guys ran forward and started attacking the other three. Oliver told me to get out of the way, so I did. I just stood by and watched as they fought, punching and kicking. It took Spinner and Craig to get one of the guards down, leaving Jay, Sean, and Oliver to get the other one and Mark. Jay and Sean went for the guard, and Oliver for Mark.

Spinner and Craig beat the first guy senseless, and then ran off somewhere. It wasn't until a few minutes later, when I smelled the smoke and saw the flames,that I knew what had happened. They were burning Tric down. I silently cheered. I knew that no one was in there, and a place like that deserved to burn.

I didn't even know it was happening until it was too late. A shot rang out. I watched as Oliver fell backward onto the grass, clutching his chest. I ran forward to him, but Jay yelled for me to run. I couldn't. I stared down Mark's gun as he pointed it at me. It was Rick and Sean all over again. But there was no Sean to stand in the way. Oliver was down.

I turned away from the gun and looked at Oliver. His eyes were closed and blood was gushing out of his chest. I pressed my hands down, trying to stop the bleeding. And I heard the second shot.

Looking up, I realized that Mark was no longer standing above me. He was on the ground. Confused, I looked around and saw Jay, holding a gun and walking toward Mark. I don't even know where he got the gun. Mark was there, gasping for air. But he was still alive. Until Jay shot him again. Instantly his body relaxed, and he was dead.

Tears were pouring from my cheeks as I struggled to help Oliver. We could all hear sirens in the distance. Jay ordered Spinner, Craig, and Sean to run. He gave Sean his gun. He told me an entire story to tell the police. That Oliver, Jay, and I were the only ones there. That there was a fire in the club, so Mark, the guards, and I ran out. There was a confrontation when they saw Jay and Oliver; Oliver was shot, and Jay struggled with Mark, got the gun away, and killed him in self defense. He picked up the gun to make sure his finger prints were on it.

While he was getting out the last of his story, police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances swarmed the parking lot. People were asking me what happened, but I just couldn't answer. I wanted Oliver to be okay. Jay started spitting out his story. They'd want my story at some time, but I wasn't giving it any time soon. I also wondered what would happen when the guards woke up and told about everyone else. At least they were knocked out when the shooting happened. They didn't know Jay had a gun.

I wasn't allowed to ride in the back of the ambulance with Oliver. A police officer offered to drive me. On the way there, he told me that I would have to give a statement soon. I blocked out everything he told me and focused on the hospital.

I pictured Oliver lying on the stretcher, eyes closed, blood soaking his clothes. I pictured him helpless and afraid, lost. I couldn't lose him.

_There goes the next contestant_

**A/N: THE END! I bet you didn't think it would end there, did you? Well, don't worry; there will be a sequel of course! Tell me what you thought of the overall story. The song was "Next Contestant" by Nickelback and they own it…it's awesome. I know that this chapter was extreme, but I wanted it to be that way. I also didn't mean to make it seem like it was the school shooting all over again, but I figured that I'd mention it. Let me know what you'd like to see in the next story. I'll try to make it happen! Okay and I'd also like to know if I should do the lyric thing in the next story or not. I love doing it, but let me know what you guys think. I'll only do what people want about the lyrics if I get a good number of reviews to judge by! So review! Qtpye: Thanks for your review on that last chapter. I actually have 3 books that I'm trying to write...but I can't seem to finish them! I know what's going to happen in the end, and most of the other stuff, but I have a hard time filling in between events. Anyway guys, the reason I'm posting this now is because it's the last chapter. But I'm waiting until I'm over 200 reviews to post the sequel. **


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